Category Archives: Getting out of denial

It’s Your Time – What Will You Do With It?

Posted on March 5, 2025 | Leave a comment

Oh, it’s so easy to get sucked into the sadness and frustration of current world events. The drama of it all activates the addictive brain functions and can cause long bouts of scrolling or TV-watching accompanied by various comfort foods and drinks that dull our senses and emotions. I am guilty of all of the above.

How to snap out of it? Well, one thing that works is to remind myself to stay focused on the tasks and projects that make my heart sing. Remind myself of who I am and what I came here to do and be. And to allow the knowledge of who I am and what I stand for guide every step, moving forward.

It won’t help the world at large if I become paralyzed with fear or sadness or if I turn my light down or off. As a matter of fact, I think the best thing we can do, to contribute to the fight for Democracy, is to shine our respective lights as bright as we can whenever and wherever we can.

For me personally, shining my light means using my voice to write, compose, sing, speak my heart and to empower others to do the same. And when we do these things that make our hearts sing, we also tap into something way bigger than ourselves. We tap into that great big network of inspiration, collaboration and love that makes anything possible.

On that note, I am going to continue with finalizing the mixes for my new album. It’s called It’s Your Time. And here’s my question to you: It’s your time. What will you do with it? What makes your heart sing?

Let’s do this❤❤❤

Musically Yours,
Caroline

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Posted in A Call To Action, Communication, Creativity, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Healing, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Tools for overcoming depression, Vocal freedom

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The Power of Emotional Communication

Posted on April 12, 2024 | Leave a comment

Many of us learned to suppress our emotions at an early age. We were often told not to cry, to be quiet, or to smile, to pull ourselves together, etc. If you were anything like me, you were raised to be a good, clever, service minded and productive person.

For me, since I was a professional performer at an early age, I felt I had no time for the upset or pain that I felt when hurt or injured. So I chose to ignore it completely or turn it into laughter. I became so good at suppressing pain that sometimes I did not feel anything at all.

The problem with suppressing our emotions is that we then also cut off major aspects of what makes us the unique, creative, passionate, loving and thriving human beings we are meant to be. With each aspect of our personality there is an intricate layer of emotion setting the tone, guiding the way and revealing the subtle nuances of creative possibility that resides within that particular aspect of who we are. And for each layer of emotion that we suppress or deny, we literally prevent ourselves from having access to the fullness of who we are.

When we allow ourselves to be present with these emotions. When we dare to invite them into the room and give them a voice. When we dare to listen fully to what they have to say or sing. When we embrace them with all of our consciousness and all of our love, there are treasures beyond our wildest imagination to behold.

Our emotions hold the key to our brilliance, our creativity, our curiosity, our ability to grow and learn and love and be loved. And when we allow all aspects of these emotions to be heard and seen and expressed fully, we also allow the magnificent texture of the fabric of our being to shine.

In communication, our emotions hold the key to heartfelt expression. This means that if we want to communicate powerfully, we need to be on board with the fullness of our emotional spectrum. And that means accepting every aspect of our emotional makeup. The good, the happy, the brilliant, the joyous, the divine, the serene, the ecstatic, the passionate and compassionate, as well as, the silly, the insecure, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the terrifying, the lonely, the self conscious, the malicious, the devious, the cowardous and the un-feeling.

When I teach Journey to Vocal Freedom, I emphasize the importance of including our most vulnerable selves. Those parts of us that we have pushed aside or denied because they embarass or scare us. These parts often belong to our younger selves. And when we allow those parts to be heard and seen and loved and nurtured, there is magic to behold. We suddenly discover that we have so much more to say, to sing, to discover, to explore, to give and to receive. And we begin to realize the symphony of possibility that resides within our own being.

When we add the texture of these voices to our own, we discover a whole new world of possibility in terms of communication, connection and authenticity. Each layer of emotion that we welcome into our conscious communication opens new doors of heartfelt connection with others. This, in my opinion, is also how we make the world a better place: By gently inviting every aspect of who we are, one emotional layer at a time, to sing along.

If you are curious to learn more about Journey to Vocal Freedom and how we can work together, feel free to visit www.journeytovocalfreedom.com and sign up for a free Discovery Call.

Musically Yours,
Caroline

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Posted in A Call To Action, Communication, Creativity, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Self Awareness, Self Empowerment, Vocal freedom

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Overcoming Procrastination and Finding Venus

Posted on April 28, 2019 | Leave a comment

Roughly seven years after the birth of the idea to create a musical, based on chapters from the novel-eh-thriller-memoir that took a half a lifetime to dare to write, I am finally ready to release the double album, Finding Venus.

I am both excited and absolutely terrified. Not that the album itself is so dangerous. But the emotional content that is attached to each of the songs, brings up a world of issues for me. They remind me of times in my life where I have felt utterly powerless or deathly buried afraid or wanting to kill myself.

The songs, in themselves, are tremendously empowering, full of hope and strength and courage and humor and powerful expressions. Yet, for me, they bring up all the hidden passages of what it took for me to overcome the fear and pain and uncertainty of the trauma I lived through.

In addition to working hard to have it all come together, the book, the musical and the album, I must confess that procrastination techniques have been at play. Techniques such as, nitpicking, delaying making a decision, constantly debating the pros and cons of each decision made, beating up on myself for not being slim enough to present it, etc.

Now, that I have made the decision to move forward with the release, I realize the amount of fear that has been holding me back. I realize the kind of self doubt that I have carried with me for so long. In spite of the fact that I have been a great promoter of Vocal Freedom, I have held myself hostage, in a way, to my own fear.

The fear that I now have surrendered completely, in order to move forward with this release, is connected to a very old message, launched deeply within my younger self. This old message is about Not sharing personal stuff, about Always smiling to the camera, about Appearing strong and happy, even when I feel vulnerable or sad. Serendipitously, herein lies the core of the new message I wish to relay with my music and story:

Don’t be afraid to Be and Share who you are. There is tremendous power in opening to the inner wisdom of your being, allowing it to move you and expressing it powerfully in words, music and action.

All the songs for Finding Venus can now be enjoyed and purchased via www.carolinewaters.com and we’ll be super happy if you can make it to the Release Party at Kulak’s Woodshed in North Hollywood on May 4th.

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Posted in A Call To Action, Caroline's Concerts, Concerts, Creativity, Expansion of Consciousness, Feel Good Music, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Musical Theatre, Posttraumatic stress, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Tools for overcoming depression, Vocal freedom

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Let’s BE That Change!

Posted on October 14, 2018 | Leave a comment

If we want to live in a world where truth matters, where equal opportunity matters, where preserving our soil, our water, our basis for living, matters, we need to be honest to the core of our being.

We need to speak the truth about ourselves, about our own experiences, about how we feel. We need to stop spreading and feeding into the poison that fear-based propaganda is. We need to focus, wholeheartedly, on cleaning up our own, distorted, world views and make sure we come from a place of love and integrity with every single word we speak and type and sing and act on.

When we take 100% responsibility for how we feel and act, when we heal the internal wounds that are so easily triggered by external factors, when we stop projecting our feelings of hurt and anger and fear and instead channel all those feelings into a conscious, loving commitment to positive change, then and only then will we see the change we wish to see in the world. Let’s BE that change!

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Posted in A Call To Action, Communication, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Planetary Relief, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Sivilized Debate, World Peace

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From Paralyzed to Energized

Posted on May 12, 2018 | Leave a comment
I admit it. I am petrified. Frozen with fear. Emotionally locked inside a deep darkness. The big fat void of avoidance, of all things postponed, is now staring me down to the ground. I am, literally, chained to the floor of my internal torture chamber, as the poisonous venom of guilt, shame and feeling inadequate works its way through my veins.
 
These are powerful feelings and I allow them all. “Bring it on!” I say, as I close my eyes and prepare for death, still unable to move or even brace for the impact. And as I allow the waves of distain, of self loathing and blame, of hatred and shame to wash right through me, to the very core… As I allow this nuclear explosion, this unhinged train, this blow torch, this torrential rain, to have its way with me, I am strangely okay.
 
“How is it possible,” I ask, “to feel okay in the middle of my very own, personal, Armageddon?” At the moment of asking, I don’t know the answer. I don’t have to. It is what it is and I accept it as is. I’ve paid my dues. I no longer need to prove myself, not even to myself. And herein lies the answer to my quest. I no longer need to prove a thing, not even to myself. From this statement alone, another revelation is born: When we surrender the ego, all ego-related feelings, such as guilt and shame and feeling inadequate, automatically falls away.
 
In the ten minutes it took me to write this, I have moved from feeling completely paralyzed to feeling completely energized. This, to me, is the power of surrender, of being totally present in the moment, in the body, letting whatever emotions are there be fully felt and pass through unobstructed, without trying to deny it, fix it, explain it or change it.
 
Bring it on and enjoy your day!

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Posted in A Call To Action, Communication, Creativity, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Life and Career, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Tools for overcoming depression

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3 Keys to Resolving Conflicts

Posted on August 7, 2017 | Leave a comment

It was recently suggested to me that I displayed classic symptoms of Battered Women’s Syndrome. My symptoms were as follows: I felt verbally paralyzed, unable to speak out or take a stance in fear of what consequence may follow.

I don’t remember being battered, but I have experienced near death accidents that have caused post traumatic stress reactions and I have experienced other forms of suppression, such as verbal abuse, scare tactics and withholding.

Some of these experiences are still affecting my life from time to time in the form of fear. Fear of conflict being the most energy- and time consuming. In the spirit of Vocal Freedom, I am going to share 3 key elements that I have found to be the most useful in terms of regaining my confidence and ability to resolve conflicts:

1 – Being Fully Present

My automatic reaction to stress is to dissociate, to leave my body. Dissociation may be an effective tool to handle stress in the moment, but is not conducive to being effective or productive or resolving conflicts. So, in order to move into a better feeling place and a place of power, I first need to become present in my own body, to ground myself in the here and now, to feel my feelings.

2 – Identifying the Most Ideal Outcome

It is easy to get wrapped up in other people’s words and actions, to take things personally. And to respond from a place of feeling wounded and needy. So, in order to counter this victim-based reactive behavior, I step back and try to see the situation from a higher perspective, by identifying the most ideal outcome. In order to do this effectively, it is vital that I don’t act from an emotional charge, but wait until I have identified what I really want to get out of the situation.

I recently stepped into a difficult conversation with a group of people I didn’t know. And, because my initial engagement happened as a knee-jerk reaction, I fell flat on my face. It took almost a day and a half to untangle myself from the emotional defense I had gotten myself into and to see my carefully drafted ignorant BS for what it was. This can be a tricky thing to identify, since the ego automatically will come up with a number of self-glorifying justifications for our behavior, as long as we remain emotionally charged. Stepping back and identifying the most ideal outcome, helped me see clearly how to untangle myself and proceed in a more constructive way.

3 – Humbly Embracing the Opportunity to Learn

It takes a great deal of courage to be humble. It requires enough personal strength, confidence and wisdom to see the value of such a receptive state of being. For me in particular, being humble is something I have fought, tooth and nail, every step of the way. Why? Because I mistook it for weakness. Fortunately, I have come to realize that humility can serve as a most wonderful tool to discover what is possible to achieve and receive. When I humbly embrace the opportunity to learn from a situation, however triggering, confusing or challenging it may be, I put myself in a position of optimal reception. Being humble and unassuming enable us to see and receive what we have to offer each other with greater ease and precision.

Here’s a song I wrote that expresses the magic and beauty of being fully present, identifying a most ideal outcome and humbly embracing the opportunity to learn: Dancing In The Nude. It features Jennifer Leitham on bass, Katisse Buckingham on sax and programming, Tom Zink on keys, Chris Wabich on drums and Caroline Waters on piano and vocals. Enjoy!

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Posted in A Call To Action, Communication, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Tools for overcoming depression, Vocal freedom

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Honoring the Victims of War

Posted on September 11, 2015 | Leave a comment

We must remember to whom we owe our freedom. We must remember that freedom itself is a privilege. We must remember those who die for the cause of freedom. We must remember to lend a helping hand, so that those who wants freedom can achieve it. And we must make sure that the freedom that we enjoy in our so-called civilized corner of the world is not in any way based on the suffering of others.

Tomorrow, I will sing and play my heart out with cellist Elisa Herbig and refugee kids, to commemorate those who died in an attempt to find refuge from war. Feel free to bring a rose and join us, if you are anywhere near the vicinity of Åmål, Sweden. If you are too far away, feel free to join us in song, prayer or meditation. We will meet at 7PM, behind the old church, down by the water.

Love,
Caroline

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Posted in Caroline's Concerts, Communication, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Mourning, Posttraumatic stress, Self Awareness, Self Empowerment, Sivilized Debate, World Peace

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Letting Go

Posted on February 18, 2014 | 2 comments

It’s not easy to let go. Not for people like me. I am so practiced at fixing things, maintaining equilibrium no matter what, taking the higher road and reaching for the good in everyone and everything. These are useful habits, but sometimes they keep us at bay.

Sometimes anger is good, as it propel us forward and help us take action. I have found it extremely helpful to acknowledge the contrasts that clarify my desire. Accepting people, things and events for whom and what they are, without trying to fix, change, belittle or make excuses for them, can release a tremendous amount of energy, – energy that is otherwise bound up in denial or repression.

I have found that, when I allow this anger or dismay to simply be what it is, an uncomfortable feeling, a gage, if you will, that helps clarify my preferences… When I allow this feeling without resistance, it changes form quite quickly. Resisting my feelings, resisting change is what causes me to feel pain. When I let myself go with the flow and allow the gage that is my emotional meter to simply clarify my objective, I can rise to my own occasion with surprising speed and elegance.

This year is a year of tremendous change for me, personally and professionally. I am letting go, physically and emotionally, of people, places and things that have held me at bay. And in doing so, I am stepping up to my own plate in a way I have never done before. By letting go of that which no longer serves my creative vision I am opening my heart and soul to new dimensions of being. It’s very exciting!

The most effective way for me to let go of people, places and things are by acknowledging the awesome gift of their being in my life. I am eternally grateful for each and every experience that has led me to this place in time. No matter how joyous or sad, not matter how pleasurable or painful. Each contrasting experience have served to clarify my vision and enhanced my dream building.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this blog post, it is not easy for people like me to let go. As a matter of fact, it has taken me half a lifetime to get to this point of feeling okay with it. But I can tell you this much. The joy I am feeling at the core of my being as a result of my resolution to let go of the old and embrace the new is beyond words. I highly recommend it!

Here’s to celebrating the Now, by fearlessly releasing the ghosts of the past and embracing what is to come with no holds bar!

Love, Blessings and Cheers from Caroline

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Posted in Codependant no more, Communication, Creativity, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Life and Career, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Tools for overcoming depression, Vocal freedom

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Finding Venus in Norwegian

Posted on December 2, 2013 | 2 comments

I am working hard every day now to get ready for and promote Jakten på Venus, which is the Norwegian version of the musical thriller, Finding Venus.

Jakten på Venus av og med Caroline Waters

Finding Venus tells part of my life story, starting with highlights from my tomboy child star years, growing up in performance with my “Superstar Papa”, Per Asplin, and how the bicycle accident that sent me flying 28 feet through the air with a severed left leg served to bring my consciousness and being to a whole new level of existence.

I was 18. I landed on my nose. My lungs collapsed and filled up with water. Everything shut down. I went into the tunnel. I experienced the incredible beauty of the Light that is all knowing, all loving and connects us all in perfect harmony. Then two Light-Being-looking dudes stopped me and told me to return to the broken mess that used to be my body. They said I had a job to do. I refused, but to no avail.

It took four years to recover. Four roller coaster years of pain management, amnesia, post traumatic stress, pill addiction and a relentless search for identity, love and a sense of purpose. Throughout this time period, it was the music and desire to express myself that helped me win the battle agains feeling powerless and suicidal. That, and an angel named Esther.

Finding Venus also tells the humorous story of how I came out of the closet to an “ultra conservative family of supreme court lawyers and royal blood”. And it reveals how my desperate search for Stefanie Stroh, the only person I was able to remember after the accident, who vanished without a trace in the same area a notorious serial killer was operating, led to a surprising discovery.

If you happen to be in Oslo, Norway, on December 12-19, please join us at Elsker! If you happen to have peeps in Scandinavia who might enjoy and appreciate this musical adventure, please give them a heads up!

Jakten på Venus is starring:
Caroline Waters as Venus and on piano, guitar and percussion
Svein Fuglestad as Papa and Frank and Missionary Man
Odille Blerh as Mama and Esther &
Elisa Herbig on cello

Tickets and more at www.carolinewaters.com/shows.php

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Posted in Caroline's Concerts, Creativity, Expansion of Consciousness, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Life and Career, Love and romance, Mourning, Musical Theatre, Paranormal Activity, Posttraumatic stress, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Tools for overcoming depression, Vocal freedom

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Fighting Artistic Depression

Posted on June 6, 2013 | 2 comments

I am situated at a small café in Oslo, drinking my favorite, Chai tea latte with soy milk. I slept through the night. I had a healthy breakfast. I rode my bike here. In other words, there is no reason why this shouldn’t be a most delicious creative and productive day.

But underneath my optimistic facade, the soft smile on my face, the playlist of truly interesting creative tasks and the intellectual knowing that all is well in the present moment, I can sense a deep murmur of fear beneath the surface. This murmur has the power to paralyze me completely, if I let it.

It’s an old murmur. A murmur from childhood, psychologically intensified by layers and layers of similar feeling murmurs. In its current manifestation it can be described as a web of sticky mind-mist and soggy, glue-like emotional mud.

I know that if I can get to the core of the murmur, if I can catch a glimpse of the cause of the original fear, or even just the original emotion that got triggered from said fear, I can dissolve it. This requires courage, patience and willingness to surrender my ego.

My ego will fight me at every turn. It will tell me that under no circumstance am I allowed to admit that I have felt anything less than all-powerful. It will do its damdest to convince me to maintain a picture perfect facade of a strong, vibrant, successful artist in motion. It doesn’t know any better. It is merely doing its job as ego.

Surrendering the ego can be an amazingly powerful thing, especially when it comes to reprogramming old patterns that no longer serves their original purpose. By letting myself sink into the feelings of interest and observe their related thought patterns without trying to judge, combat or fix them, I surrender the ego. I surrender to a state of simply being fully present to the moment.

When I surrender to the moment, no matter how painful it is or uncomfortable it makes me feel, I allow for an expansion of consciousness to take place. This is the point where I can most effectively let go of that which no longer serve me, let my body rejuvenate and receive new wisdom.

Today’s murmur happens to be about perfection in performance and a tremendous sense of urgency in terms of maximizing the potential of my talent. Growing up as a child star with parents who modelled an unusually high level of productivity and fabulousness, I felt a constant pressure to maximize my potential at every turn. This pressure has caused me to develop my talent in extraordinary fashions and be amazingly productive. It has also caused me to periodically feel overwhelmed and insignificant and paralyzed.

So, today, I surrender to simply being and feeling and observing. Today I surrender to loving myself as whole and complete in this moment and the next, just the way I am. Today, I declare that I am enough just for being. I forgive myself for allowing the ghosts of the past influence my joy and lightness of being. I forgive my parents for the pressure they caused and I open my heart and mind to receiving the good that abounds.

Sometimes the best way to fight something is to surrender:)

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Posted in Creativity, Getting out of denial, Healing, Liberation, Life and Career, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Tools for overcoming depression

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