Category Archives: A Call To Action

3 Keys to Communicating With Ease

Have you ever experienced feeling like you expressed yourself with such immaculate clarity, but for some bizarre reason, most of your intended communication got lost in translation? I have. Many times. In fact, over and over. It’s really frustrating.

So, here’s the deal: We receive 400 billion pieces of information every second. Of these 400 billion pieces, only 2000 gets delivered to our conscious mind via our brain’s filtering system. And, this filtering system is continuously formed by our emotional experiences, which of course varies greatly from person to person, depending on our DNA, our upbringing and our surroundings at any given time.

This explains why we perceive things so differently and why we can experience the same event, but observe completely different aspects of it and thus tend to give entirely different accounts when we reiterate said event.

Seeing and hearing and feeling things so differently from one another can make it difficult to communicate. Here are my three keys to making it easier:

1 – Listen with the intention to learn where the other person is coming from and how they experience what they experience. Ask them to clarify if anything is unclear.

2 – Resist the urge to offer an opinion, unless specifically asked. And, even then, I often find it more useful to ask more questions so that the other person can arrive at their own understanding first.

3 – Let new information sink in before jumping to conclusions. Recognizing that we are only perceiving a small part of the whole picture at any given moment opens the door to more playful, curious and exploratory communication. When we resist the urge to judge, we open for the possibility to expand our vision. This, in turn, expands our ability to collaborate and co-create.

For those of you who are interested, I am designing new Vocal Freedom seminars that include fun and empowering processes for expanding our self awareness and enhancing our communication skills. This, in addition, of course, to finding, freeing and exquisitely  expressing our voices.

If you want me to stop by your town for a Vocal Freedom Seminar and/ or House Concert or to give a concert at your favorite venue, feel free to shoot me an email. Many choose to book a seminar/ concert as a one- or two-day event.

Email booking@redheadrecords.com with any questions or booking inquiries.

Vocal Freedom via SKYPE/ FaceTime is also an option.

Musically Yours,
Caroline

3 Keys to Resolving Conflicts

It was recently suggested to me that I displayed classic symptoms of Battered Women’s Syndrome. My symptoms were as follows: I felt verbally paralyzed, unable to speak out or take a stance in fear of what consequence may follow.

I don’t remember being battered, but I have experienced near death accidents that have caused post traumatic stress reactions and I have experienced other forms of suppression, such as verbal abuse, scare tactics and withholding.

Some of these experiences are still affecting my life from time to time in the form of fear. Fear of conflict being the most energy- and time consuming. In the spirit of Vocal Freedom, I am going to share 3 key elements that I have found to be the most useful in terms of regaining my confidence and ability to resolve conflicts:

1 – Being Fully Present

My automatic reaction to stress is to dissociate, to leave my body. Dissociation may be an affective tool to handle stress in the moment, but is not conducive to being effective or productive or resolving conflicts. So, in order to move into a better feeling place and a place of power, I first need to become present in my own body, to ground myself in the here and now, to feel my feelings.

2 – Identifying the Most Ideal Outcome

It is easy to get wrapped up in other people’s words and actions, to take things personally. And to respond from a place of feeling wounded and needy. So, in order to counter this victim-based reactive behavior, I step back and try to see the situation from a higher perspective, by identifying the most ideal outcome. In order to do this effectively, it is vital that I don’t act from an emotional charge, but wait until I have identified what I really want to get out of the situation.

I recently stepped into a difficult conversation with a group of people I didn’t know. And, because my initial engagement happened as a knee-jerk reaction, I fell flat on my face. It took almost a day and a half to untangle myself from the emotional defense I had gotten myself into and to see my carefully drafted ignorant BS for what it was. This can be a tricky thing to identify, since the ego automatically will come up with a number of self-glorifying justifications for our behavior, as long as we remain emotionally charged. Stepping back and identifying the most ideal outcome, helped me see clearly how to untangle myself and proceed in a more constructive way.

3 – Humbly Embracing the Opportunity to Learn

It takes a great deal of courage to be humble. It requires enough personal strength, confidence and wisdom to see the value of such a receptive state of being. For me in particular, being humble is something I have fought, tooth and nail, every step of the way. Why? Because I mistook it for weakness. Fortunately, I have come to realize that humility can serve as a most wonderful tool to discover what is possible to achieve and receive. When I humbly embrace the opportunity to learn from a situation, however triggering, confusing or challenging it may be, I put myself in a position of optimal reception. Being humble and unassuming enable us to see and receive what we have to offer each other with greater ease and precision.

Here’s a song I wrote that expresses the magic and beauty of being fully present, identifying a most ideal outcome and humbly embracing the opportunity to learn: Dancing In The Nude. It features Jennifer Leitham on bass, Katisse Buckingham on sax and programming, Tom Zink on keys, Chris Wabich on drums and Caroline Waters on piano and vocals. Enjoy!

Back On the Inside

I’m back in Los Angeles, after an intense few months in Sweden. I gave only three performances this time around, all well received and the last two sold out. One of them in concert with Norwegian country-artist extraordinaire, Tove Bøygard. In-between concerts, I took time off to get knee surgery, physical therapy and go on a week vacation to the Canary Islands to recover.

Looking at it from a neutral perspective, I feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Being on my way to recovering completely and getting in good shape for the upcoming Finding Venus album-, musical- and book release feels really good. The possibilities that lie ahead as a result of what I have accomplished so far are numerous and exciting. Producers, directors, film makers and bookers from both Europe and the US are showing a real interest in the book, musical and album. An expanded journey of traveling and broadening the horizons for Finding Venus lies afoot.

Yet, my mind is beating up on me for not having everything figured out already for the upcoming release. “Show me the money,” it says. “You should have had it all strategized, financed and in motion by now.” This is of course my workaholism at work, telling me that no matter what I do, it’s never good enough or fast enough or enough, period.

So, I try to sit back and just breathe, in the California sun, and remind myself that just for today, it’s enough just to be. Just for today it’s enough to appreciate where I’m at, how far I have come and to be excited for the journey that lies ahead. I tell myself that it’s okay to focus on getting fully back in shape before attempting another quantum leap. And it’s okay to take the time it takes to organically arrive at the most delicious solution to my dream building.

I realize that in and through all of this, getting back on the inside, looking at the world around me from the power that resides within me, is the most important course of action I can take. As I realize this, my shoulders drop and I am able to fully exhale. The moment I allow myself to just be, my mind opens wide to attract exactly who and what I need to proceed. Funny how that works 😉

Back On the Inside is on my Venus Envy album, which I co-produced with Greg Matheson and Katisse Buckingham. You can check it out by clicking here.

A Call to Action for you, my dear friends and fans:

Many of you are eagerly awaiting the Finding Venus album release and tour schedule. In that process I’d love to get your feedback!

– Where would you like to see me perform and in what setting?

– Do you have a favorite venue that you can recommend?

– Do you know producers and directors in your area that you’d like for me to get in touch with?

– Would it be of value to you if I offer Vocal Freedom seminars in conjunction with the Finding Venus performances?

Let me know your thoughts and ideas. I have a feeling it’s going to take the whole village to get this ball rolling as fabulously as I am feeling it.

Musically Yours,
Caroline