Category Archives: Codependant no more

Letting Go

It’s not easy to let go. Not for people like me. I am so practiced at fixing things, maintaining equilibrium no matter what, taking the higher road and reaching for the good in everyone and everything. These are useful habits, but sometimes they keep us at bay.

Sometimes anger is good, as it propel us forward and help us take action. I have found it extremely helpful to acknowledge the contrasts that clarify my desire. Accepting people, things and events for whom and what they are, without trying to fix, change, belittle or make excuses for them, can release a tremendous amount of energy, – energy that is otherwise bound up in denial or repression.

I have found that, when I allow this anger or dismay to simply be what it is, an uncomfortable feeling, a gage, if you will, that helps clarify my preferences… When I allow this feeling without resistance, it changes form quite quickly. Resisting my feelings, resisting change is what causes me to feel pain. When I let myself go with the flow and allow the gage that is my emotional meter to simply clarify my objective, I can rise to my own occasion with surprising speed and elegance.

This year is a year of tremendous change for me, personally and professionally. I am letting go, physically and emotionally, of people, places and things that have held me at bay. And in doing so, I am stepping up to my own plate in a way I have never done before. By letting go of that which no longer serves my creative vision I am opening my heart and soul to new dimensions of being. It’s very exciting!

The most effective way for me to let go of people, places and things are by acknowledging the awesome gift of their being in my life. I am eternally grateful for each and every experience that has led me to this place in time. No matter how joyous or sad, not matter how pleasurable or painful. Each contrasting experience have served to clarify my vision and enhanced my dream building.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this blog post, it is not easy for people like me to let go. As a matter of fact, it has taken me half a lifetime to get to this point of feeling okay with it. But I can tell you this much. The joy I am feeling at the core of my being as a result of my resolution to let go of the old and embrace the new is beyond words. I highly recommend it!

Here’s to celebrating the Now, by fearlessly releasing the ghosts of the past and embracing what is to come with no holds bar!

Love, Blessings and Cheers from Caroline

The Infinite Wisdom of Cats

Early this morning, as the sun began to beam and stretch over the horizon, I was privy to a remarkable interaction between two beautiful black cats, sitting in the street across from my kitchen window. They seemed to be engaged in a very serious conversation about their relationship and took turns meowing and listening to each other.

After almost ten minutes of this rather extraordinary exhibit, an elderly gentleman in robe and slippers came out to fetch his newspaper in the driveway. The two love balls swiftly dashed under a parked car and came out flying on the other side, like a yin yang ball of fire, enmeshed in a furious embrace, rolling full speed across the street toward me. Then, with shocking elegance, they came to a complete Matrix stance, their respective coats in perfect shine, and began a staring contest that simply left me in awe.

What amazed me the most was that the energetic interaction between these two magnificent creatures seemed just as profound as any human interaction I have ever witnessed. They appeared to exhibit a deep love and respect for each other – and the ease in which they expressed their emotions was simply mind blowing.

The display of infinite wisdom in these animals served as a reminder for me to be present in the moment and in my body, – and to interact with others, fully present and in my body. Lately, I have been wrapped up in conflict resolution involving numerous analytical processes regarding what was said. Very silly, but quite automatic. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. And these two cats, in spite of the fact that I have no clue what they were saying to each other or what their issues might have been, totally helped me get out of my own way.

I feel like dedicating this blog post to my little Rascal, who used to help me get out of my own way on a daily basis when she was alive and well in this physical time and space reality. She was an amazing healer. Here’s a link to a music video we made together: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nfY6JzvadM

Enjoy!
Rascal on top of the bookshelf

Finding Venus in Norway

I am scared shitless, to be perfectly honest. This is my home country, where I grew up, where all my “baggage” first assembled, where all my first impressions were formed, where my first insecurities took hold, where I first began to compare myself to others, where I used to feel extremely uncomfortable in my grown-up clothing.

I am also intensely excited, as I feel like I am stepping onto a new stage of life, in my home country, as someone who has come full circle in so many ways.

Three weeks from now I will be performing my new jazzy musical thriller, Finding Venus (På Hengende Håret), for the first time with a full cast in Norwegian. Yeah, it’s happening at Herr Nilsen in Oslo on June 21st!

Finding Venus (På Hengende Håret) by Caroline WatersThe scary part is that I suspect I might be met with a more critical eye and ear in these parts, since I come from a well known entertainment family, which of course entails certain expectations. At the same time it feels absolutely fantastic to finally get to tell my story of healing and transformation, which has been partially hidden for so many years.

The cast is fantastic, just the right mix of talented, wild and wise. A beautiful bundle of creative energies, each with their own unique expression of love and life.

The musicians are some of my very favorite in the world. Deb and I used to play together in a duo called Sirens. We’d make the European clubs go wild with our combination of jazzy classical pop and funky groovy out-of-this-world weirdness. Aage and I met when I played my violin in a Nordic Youth Symphony orchestra at fifteen and have played together off and on since then. Amazing cellist!

Here’s a link to the calendar and ticket sales: www.carolinewaters.com/shows.php

Here’s a link to my official website, where you can find video and sound clips for both the Norwegian and English versions: www.carolinewaters.com

Looking forward!

Love and Blessings, Caroline

Nurturing the Child Within

How I broke the cycle of codependency

About seven years ago, I found myself sitting in the sofa in my living room, unable to move, feeling completely helpless. Long story short, I was heartbroken from having invested a big chunk of myself into a relationship with an addict. And as a result of repeatedly not heading the deafening warning bells, I had tricked myself into believing that this person could provide me with the nurture that I needed, eventually, if I just loved them well enough. And as I sat there, as the walls of my illusion came crashing down, leaving me freezing cold and naked to the bone, all I wanted to do was cry for my mom to pick me up. Except Mom was long gone and I had no more brilliant solutions to keep me afloat on that big river in Egypt. It was over.

As I sat there, feeling the excruciating magnitude of my loneliness, without moving to fix it, the feeling intensified to the point where I thought I was going to die. And as I let myself fully embrace the death of me in that moment, a shift happened. That very moment is when I learned to nurture myself from the inside. I got up from the sofa, sat down by the grand piano and began to sing, “It’s gonna be alright you know, little angel. It’s gonna be alright you know, little angel of mine.” I finished the whole song in less than half and hour, and to this day, it is one of my favorite tunes.

Little Angel to the Movies

Little Angel was just picked up to be in the final scene going into the end credits in a movie called, Next of Kin, and can also be found on the Venus Envy CD. I have enclosed the song for your listening pleasure and the lyrics, so you can sing along:)

Love and Blessings, Caroline

Little Angel by Caroline Waters (Get the CD)

It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel of mine

I’ll hold you close and I’ll keep you warm
Cause I love you so, little angel of mine

No one’s gonna hurt you now, little angel
No one’s gonna hurt you now, little angel of mine
I’m gonna take care of you, little angel
I’m gonna take care of you, little angel of mine

I’ll be your mom and I’ll keep you from harm
Till the end of time, little angel of mine

You’ll never be alone again, little angel
You’ll never be alone again, little angel of mine
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel of mine

I’ll keep you safe and I’ll let you cry
Then I’ll see you fly, little angel of mine

It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel of mine