Category Archives: Healing

Letting Go

It’s not easy to let go. Not for people like me. I am so practiced at fixing things, maintaining equilibrium no matter what, taking the higher road and reaching for the good in everyone and everything. These are useful habits, but sometimes they keep us at bay.

Sometimes anger is good, as it propel us forward and help us take action. I have found it extremely helpful to acknowledge the contrasts that clarify my desire. Accepting people, things and events for whom and what they are, without trying to fix, change, belittle or make excuses for them, can release a tremendous amount of energy, – energy that is otherwise bound up in denial or repression.

I have found that, when I allow this anger or dismay to simply be what it is, an uncomfortable feeling, a gage, if you will, that helps clarify my preferences… When I allow this feeling without resistance, it changes form quite quickly. Resisting my feelings, resisting change is what causes me to feel pain. When I let myself go with the flow and allow the gage that is my emotional meter to simply clarify my objective, I can rise to my own occasion with surprising speed and elegance.

This year is a year of tremendous change for me, personally and professionally. I am letting go, physically and emotionally, of people, places and things that have held me at bay. And in doing so, I am stepping up to my own plate in a way I have never done before. By letting go of that which no longer serves my creative vision I am opening my heart and soul to new dimensions of being. It’s very exciting!

The most effective way for me to let go of people, places and things are by acknowledging the awesome gift of their being in my life. I am eternally grateful for each and every experience that has led me to this place in time. No matter how joyous or sad, not matter how pleasurable or painful. Each contrasting experience have served to clarify my vision and enhanced my dream building.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this blog post, it is not easy for people like me to let go. As a matter of fact, it has taken me half a lifetime to get to this point of feeling okay with it. But I can tell you this much. The joy I am feeling at the core of my being as a result of my resolution to let go of the old and embrace the new is beyond words. I highly recommend it!

Here’s to celebrating the Now, by fearlessly releasing the ghosts of the past and embracing what is to come with no holds bar!

Love, Blessings and Cheers from Caroline

Finding Venus in Norwegian

I am working hard every day now to get ready for and promote Jakten på Venus, which is the Norwegian version of the musical thriller, Finding Venus.

Jakten på Venus av og med Caroline Waters

Finding Venus
tells part of my life story, starting with highlights from my tomboy child star years, growing up in performance with my “Superstar Papa”, Per Asplin, and how the bicycle accident that sent me flying 28 feet through the air with a severed left leg served to bring my consciousness and being to a whole new level of existence.

I was 18. I landed on my nose. My lungs collapsed and filled up with water. Everything shut down. I went into the tunnel. I experienced the incredible beauty of the Light that is all knowing, all loving and connects us all in perfect harmony. Then two Light-Being-looking dudes stopped me and told me to return to the broken mess that used to be my body. They said I had a job to do. I refused, but to no avail.

It took four years to recover. Four roller coaster years of pain management, amnesia, post traumatic stress, pill addiction and a relentless search for identity, love and a sense of purpose. Throughout this time period, it was the music and desire to express myself that helped me win the battle agains feeling powerless and suicidal. That, and an angel named Esther.

Finding Venus also tells the humorous story of how I came out of the closet to an “ultra conservative family of supreme court lawyers and royal blood”. And it reveals how my desperate search for Stefanie Stroh, the only person I was able to remember after the accident, who vanished without a trace in the same area a notorious serial killer was operating, led to a surprising discovery.

If you happen to be in Oslo, Norway, on December 12-19, please join us at Elsker! If you happen to have peeps in Scandinavia who might enjoy and appreciate this musical adventure, please give them a heads up!

Jakten på Venus is starring:
Caroline Waters as Venus and on piano, guitar and percussion
Svein Fuglestad as Papa and Frank and Missionary Man
Odille Blerh as Mama and Esther &
Elisa Herbig on cello

Tickets and more at www.carolinewaters.com/shows.php

The Infinite Wisdom of Cats

Early this morning, as the sun began to beam and stretch over the horizon, I was privy to a remarkable interaction between two beautiful black cats, sitting in the street across from my kitchen window. They seemed to be engaged in a very serious conversation about their relationship and took turns meowing and listening to each other.

After almost ten minutes of this rather extraordinary exhibit, an elderly gentleman in robe and slippers came out to fetch his newspaper in the driveway. The two love balls swiftly dashed under a parked car and came out flying on the other side, like a yin yang ball of fire, enmeshed in a furious embrace, rolling full speed across the street toward me. Then, with shocking elegance, they came to a complete Matrix stance, their respective coats in perfect shine, and began a staring contest that simply left me in awe.

What amazed me the most was that the energetic interaction between these two magnificent creatures seemed just as profound as any human interaction I have ever witnessed. They appeared to exhibit a deep love and respect for each other – and the ease in which they expressed their emotions was simply mind blowing.

The display of infinite wisdom in these animals served as a reminder for me to be present in the moment and in my body, – and to interact with others, fully present and in my body. Lately, I have been wrapped up in conflict resolution involving numerous analytical processes regarding what was said. Very silly, but quite automatic. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. And these two cats, in spite of the fact that I have no clue what they were saying to each other or what their issues might have been, totally helped me get out of my own way.

I feel like dedicating this blog post to my little Rascal, who used to help me get out of my own way on a daily basis when she was alive and well in this physical time and space reality. She was an amazing healer. Here’s a link to a music video we made together: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nfY6JzvadM

Enjoy!
Rascal on top of the bookshelf

Fighting Artistic Depression

I am situated at a small café in Oslo, drinking my favorite, Chai tea latte with soy milk. I slept through the night. I had a healthy breakfast. I rode my bike here. In other words, there is no reason why this shouldn’t be a most delicious creative and productive day.

But underneath my optimistic facade, the soft smile on my face, the playlist of truly interesting creative tasks and the intellectual knowing that all is well in the present moment, I can sense a deep murmur of fear beneath the surface. This murmur has the power to paralyze me completely, if I let it.

It’s an old murmur. A murmur from childhood, psychologically intensified by layers and layers of similar feeling murmurs. In its current manifestation it can be described as a web of sticky mind-mist and soggy, glue-like emotional mud.

I know that if I can get to the core of the murmur, if I can catch a glimpse of the cause of the original fear, or even just the original emotion that got triggered from said fear, I can dissolve it. This requires courage, patience and willingness to surrender my ego.

My ego will fight me at every turn. It will tell me that under no circumstance am I allowed to admit that I have felt anything less than all-powerful. It will do its damdest to convince me to maintain a picture perfect facade of a strong, vibrant, successful artist in motion. It doesn’t know any better. It is merely doing its job as ego.

Surrendering the ego can be an amazingly powerful thing, especially when it comes to reprogramming old patterns that no longer serves their original purpose. By letting myself sink into the feelings of interest and observe their related thought patterns without trying to judge, combat or fix them, I surrender the ego. I surrender to a state of simply being fully present to the moment.

When I surrender to the moment, no matter how painful it is or uncomfortable it makes me feel, I allow for an expansion of consciousness to take place. This is the point where I can most effectively let go of that which no longer serve me, let my body rejuvenate and receive new wisdom.

Today’s murmur happens to be about perfection in performance and a tremendous sense of urgency in terms of maximizing the potential of my talent. Growing up as a child star with parents who modelled an unusually high level of productivity and fabulousness, I felt a constant pressure to maximize my potential at every turn. This pressure has caused me to develop my talent in extraordinary fashions and be amazingly productive. It has also caused me to periodically feel overwhelmed and insignificant and paralyzed.

So, today, I surrender to simply being and feeling and observing. Today I surrender to loving myself as whole and complete in this moment and the next, just the way I am. Today, I declare that I am enough just for being. I forgive myself for allowing the ghosts of the past influence my joy and lightness of being. I forgive my parents for the pressure they caused and I open my heart and mind to receiving the good that abounds.

Sometimes the best way to fight something is to surrender:)

Finding Venus in Studio City

First of all, a great big THANK YOU to everyone who helped make last month’s performance of Finding Venus a smash hit at the box office!!! I am so incredibly grateful for the amazing cast and crew and audience who co-created such a beautiful evening of music and love and consciousness expansion!

Because of this success as well as numerous requests, we have added a performance of Finding Venus at Mare’ka in Studio City on Saturday, March 30th! For tickets and more info, please go to www.carolinewaters.com/shows.php

We received a most beautiful review by A.J. Llewellyn: “It was a mighty wind the Goddess Venus ushered in that frigid evening as one of her daughters shed tears and heart blood to the rapt crowd as she shared the story of her life…” Click here to read more.

And I am eternally grateful to Ira Cord for his beautiful video. Here’s a little snippet from the performance. I am singing “And I Pretend” while Katisse Buckingham plays flute and beatbox, Jennifer Richardson sings backup and amazing actors Ottiliana Rolandsson, Marie Bergenholtz and Katia Moraes embody the emotion:

Orgasmic Proportions

Yes, I have made quite a commitment to myself for this new and amazing year. For no reason other than the feeling of it being deliciously inspiring and tantalizing, I decided to dedicate 2013 to bliss, in its most potent exposure.

Caroline_500

 

Imagine the most delicious of all flavors embedded in each and every moment of being. Imagine holding, releasing, breathing, embracing, receiving and savoring the exquisite sensation of intentionally focused pure positive energy in every move, thought, word, note, pause and cadence.

The very notion of aligning my entire being, path, creations and interactions with the essence of this intensely focused yet amazingly reverberating and expansive energy is both thrilling and terrifying. It requires that I meet every single moment fully alive, fully present, completely receptive, heart wide open. It demands that I listen with all my senses and allow the well being of all that is to move me, without resistance, beyond ego, beyond comfort zones, into new, delicious and continually expanding consciousness.

Care to join me? Welcome to Vocal Freedom 2013!

All Love,
Caroline

Purpose, Gratitude and The Soul of Money

I have spent some time lately contemplating the purpose of what I do for a living. Some people argue that I should be making more money doing what I do. Some wonder why I am not making millions and living in some fancy mansion. For some reason, they aquate creative success with bling and stash. And, seeing that I am being fairly successful in the creative and performative department, they are surprised to find that I live such a down to earth lifestyle.

Here’s the thing, though. Although I write and perform words and music for a living, and always appreciate a generous exchange, I don’t do it for the money. I do it because it is a calling. I do it because I believe that I can change the world for the better by using the talent that I have been given as best as I can and follow my bliss. And I also believe that when we show up consistently and do the work that is required of us in order to follow our bliss, all else will follow. No exceptions.

The truth is, my desire is not to have millions or live in some fancy mansion. My desire is to simply do what I do and have sufficient income to sustain my life and my creativity, so that I can continue to tell my stories and sing and teach and write and create good vibrations  in the world at large. At this very moment, I am ecstatically happy and perfectly content. I am so grateful that I get to do what I do and I am thrilled that I have a fairly simple and down to earth life to go with it.

For example, I prefer walking, hiking, cross country skiing and riding my bike to motorized transportations. I prefer sharing a pot of tea or a bottle of red wine from Trader Joe’s in the company of beloved friends to fancy parties in grown-up clothing. I don’t have a clue why people make such a fuzz over fashion, hair dues, shoes and accessories. And I prefer small cosy homes to stone cold mansions.

I read a brilliant book about money called “The Soul of Money”. The book is written by Lynne Twist and talks about the true value of money and how we can think of it and use it in the most rewarding of ways. Lynne worked side by side with Mother Theresa for over ten years and has single handedly raised more than a hundred million dollars for charitable causes. In the book, she talks about sufficiency versus abundance and how we can change the world by replacing greed with generosity. She talks about how money, just like water, will become poisonous if there is no movement, if it simply collects in one place, and how it will not only gain momentum, but gain value as well, as it flows.

I am so grateful that I am able to be completely satisfied in the moment, as I am, perfectly imperfect, in progress yet complete, with powerful dreams and aspirations leading the way. I am truly, truly happy for my life, for the beautiful angels that continue to grace my path, for every obstacle that inspires new creativity and for the world I live in, which grows more fascinating every second. Do you realize how much good there is to be done, how many opportunities to love, to create, to sing, to dance, to listen, to embrace, to savor, to cry, to let go, to be all the amazing things that we are to ourselves and to each other?

Thank you for being part of my life, my journey and my music. Thank you for reading this! Do you know what a difference you make in my life? In the lives of each and every person you talk to, listen to or touch in any way, simply with your being? YOU make a difference, no matter how much money you make or spend. Don’t forget it. I sometimes forget, but  this serves as a good reminder;)

Love and Blessings,
Caroline