Tag Archives: mass murder

Focus, Murder and Healing

The murderous results of negative focus:

It has been interesting, reading about Anders Behring Breivik and how he chose to focus his attention in increasingly destructive ways in the years leading up to the mass murder. I find it extremely valuable to see the correlation between focus and action in human behavior.

When I was recovering from a serious head injury and addicted to prescription drugs, following a serious car accident in my late teens, I too was negatively focused for periods of time. My emotions ranged from depressed to homicidal, which created some rather disturbing thought processes.

I don’t know exactly why I didn’t end up as a drug addict, alcoholic or murdering maniac in the end. I certainly had enough crazy thoughts and violent emotions in me to go there. Was it that little voice of reason that guided me through the despair and kept me on the path of healing rather than destruction? Was it the music that allowed me a positive outlet for all kinds of thoughts and feelings? Was it family, friends and angels on my path who gently nurtured me back to Self?

How life affirming choices makes a difference:

I am fully aware that I made choices every single day of my recovery. Choices that probably saved my life. But how come I chose the way I did? What was it that made me able to quit the prescription drugs, cold turkey, in spite of the horrible pain I was in, when so many others simply cannot? And what was it that made me choose being good over being bad when bad felt so much more in sync with the painful state of mind I was in? How was I able to transform pain into something life affirming and positive when every cell in my body was screaming bloody murder?

Some say I had it in me from the start, that I was born with a powerful ability to positively focus my attention beyond immediate needs. This I do know: The power of music and having permission to express myself, verbally and vocally, with no holds bar, has made it possible for me to come full circle. I think we all have the ability to do crazy destructive things if  we are bottled up inside. Having a positive outlet is key to any healing journey.

The power and magic of Vocal Freedom:

One of the main reasons I choose to share my journey of healing transformation in words and music is to give hope to those who are struggling with similar issues. Many who experience trauma go through similar negative behavioral patterns as a result of the pain and the fear involved. People may have different coping mechanisms based on their upbringing and support structure, but many patterns are triggered through the subconscious fight/ flight mechanisms, which we all share, regardless of our make-up and social habitat.

Vocal Freedom Camp is specifically designed to gently find, strengthen and nurture the voices in each and every one of us that need to be heard. In addition to promoting my new musical thriller, Finding Venus, which tells the story of my powerful transformational journey, I am working to set up a series of Vocal Freedom Camp seminars to tour Norway and the US.

Please let me know if you have venue suggestions or would like to book a seminar in your town. I am also available for private one-on-one sessions.

More info at www.carolinewaters.com

All Love, Caroline

It’s Hard to Believe

It’s hard to fathom that the killer who bombed, shot and killed 76 of my fellow countrymen, women and children went to my high school, got confirmed at my church, grew up in my neighborhood, etc. It’s hard to put my brain around the fact that one of the worst mass murderers of our time is not one of “them”, but one of “us”. This fact alone has made me examine my thoughts, feelings and motives in depth. For this I am grateful. It is far too easy to point fingers and blame others when we can separate ourselves from the perpetrator, in looks, religion, ideology and so forth.

Hopefully, most of us will at this time choose to take a closer look at how we contribute to our community and society at large, in thoughts, ideas, words and physical action. I believe that we are all connected in more ways than we can comprehend. I believe that we are all responsible for the world that we create and that includes the emotional and ideological climate that ignites hate crimes.

I believe that I have a responsibility for how I feel, how I think and how I act out those thoughts and emotions in relationship to other beings. It is my hope that as we as community learn how much we matter to each other and to the whole of society, as we learn that our individual thoughts and ideas and feelings make a difference, we will raise our mass consciousness to a level where massive healing and rejuvenation can take place.

Here’s a song I wrote when a dear friend told me that her mother was shot and killed. Crying and singing it has helped me through some of the overwhelming feelings of grief, loss and despair I have been feeling in the last couple weeks:

It’s Hard to Believe by Caroline Waters

It’s hard to believe
Such a horrid affair
It’s hard to conceive
There is blood everywhere
It’s hard to believe that she couldn’t run away

It’s hard to believe
Such a charming lad
It’s hard to conceive
He would go this mad
It’s hard to believe that she couldn’t run away

In one fell swoop you blew her away
In one fell swoop you made us all pay
In one fell swoop you killed us all
And you weren’t even man enough to take the fall

It’s hard to forgive
Such a horrid affair
It’s hard to forgive
When there’s blood everywhere
It’s hard to forgive that she couldn’t run away

In one fell swoop I’ve come to hate
Every single part of me that can relate
Every single part that reminds me of you
How could you do it, laddy, how could you?

In one fell swoop you blew her away
In one fell swoop you made us all pay
In one fell swoop you killed us all