Tag Archives: appreciation

What I Learned from the Gnarly Bug

Loosing weight, the hard way

It was just before summer. I had finished my new CD, Exposed, and was hanging out in Oslo, Norway, to visit friends and family and see how I might proceed with marketing and such. I felt sluggish, energetically, in spite of the fact that I was very happy with the new CD and excited to promote it. Feeling overweight and out of shape, I decided in my mind that I needed to loose about twenty-two pounds.

Shortly after I returned to LA, I got hit with a bug that sent me into the hospital with acute colitis. I lost twenty-two pounds in three weeks, the exact number I had intended to loose. It was the weirdest thing. I couldn’t really understand why I got so sick, since I was eating fairly healthy and also had stepped into a healthier routine in many ways. The hospital couldn’t figure it out either. Was it simply the power of my intention, without properly specifying the method of accomplishment?

Changing my life for the better

It wasn’t fun, I can tell you that, and it has taken several months for me to be able to eat normal food again and take a walk without feeling out of breath. But somehow, the whole incident has changed my life for the better. Being so completely dependent on other people for help and so completely unable to make things happen the way I was used to making things happen, by pure force, I somehow opened a new door to my existence.

I have achieved humility, appreciation and the ability to more fully receive the love that others have for me. And I have achieved a new perspective on time, one that lets me breathe and take the time it takes to do whatever is needed. I have never before allowed myself this luxury, of letting life happen in its own sweet time. I’ve always felt a need to force things or make them happen. But as a result of this newfound humility, and consequent ability to receive life in a more organic fashion, I have gained tremendous momentum both in my career and in my personal life.

In just a few months, I have gained clarity in how to proceed with my music and performance. A tour of Scandinavia is in the works, a beautiful lover has arrived to accompany me on my journey and synchronicity abounds. I am in the flow of something real good. It is as if I have stepped into the next chapter of my life, where things move faster while I get to relax and enjoy the process. To my surprise, the weight has stayed off, in spite of the fact that I have gained back muscle and am eating much more food on a regular basis than I have in the last twenty years.

Receiving all the love that abounds

I don’t feel sluggish anymore. I feel eager to seize the day and see how I might contribute to the community at large with my music and being, receiving all the love that abounds in the process. Last Thursday at TID Kafé in Oslo, was a perfect example of this new gift of being, this perfect flow. The house was packed with the most loving audience ever. I sold more CDs in one setting than I ever have. And my heart was completely at ease, flowing over with appreciation for all that is, even the gnarly bugs that appear to rack havoc in our lives from time to time…

Here’s a link to Dancing In the Nude, a video snippet from the last concert and the lyrics below so you can sing along if you like:)

Dancing In The Nude by Caroline Waters
©2009 by Redhead Records. All Rights Reserved.

Dancing in the nude

Getting in the mood

Laughing as I groove into my

Being fully alive, feeling the drive

To be completely wild and seeing

All my worries fade away

As I begin to seize the day

I reach for my spirit in the sky

Flying high, not questioning why

Being Totally Alive in Paris and Oslo!

From Fear to Success

Caroline moments before her recent concert in Oslo, Norway.

Caroline moments before her recent house concert in Oslo, Norway.

I was fortunate enough to experience a most magical promotional tour to Paris, France and Oslo, Norway this fall. My intention with the trip was threefold: To celebrate my sister’s birthday at the Lido in Paris, to celebrate my brother’s birthday at his beautiful home in Oslo, and to introduce my new CD, Being Totally Alive.

Paris made me nervous, since I had a bad experience on my last trip there, some 21 years ago. Long story short, I was assaulted and left with a strong sense of fear and disempowerment for many years to come. Since then, I have had great sadness about Paris, specially since it is regarded by so many as a city of beauty and romance.

This time, my dear friend and amazing actress Judi Beecher just happened to be finishing up a movie just as I arrived, which synchronistically created the opportunity for me to spend a whole day taking in the beauty and history of this magical city with someone who also could hold space for my experience. And by sharing my experience in this new time-space reality, I was able to release the fear of it and more fully realize the beauty of my life as it is today. Pretty cool, huh?

The Power of Celebration

This is how I see it: I made myself go to Paris because I was determined to celebrate my sister on her birthday. And because of my determination to celebrate and appreciate, I was given the opportunity to heal. Being Totally Alive was created from this point of view and in celebration of the love that connect us all. As a result, doors are opening that I never ever even knew existed.

Some people call me crazy for staying in the game of show business and for stubbornly moving forward with my dream building, not matter how gloomy the illusion of economy gets and no matter how many obstacles seem to be looming in the distance. But I can assure you that it is worth every breath of my being to stay in celebration, to let my creativity blossom and to let my heart sing whenever possible.

As previously mentioned, I was also determined to celebrate my brother on his birthday. And as it turned out, he generously offered to host a house concert with me singing and playing at his beautiful home in Oslo this last week. The turnout was simply amazing. I sold more CDs than I thought possible. And, as if that wasn’t enough, one of my most favorite musicians of all times, renowned cellist Aage Kvalbein, came by to see me.

My Meeting With Aage Kvalbein

Aage Kvalbein and Caroline Waters

Aage Kvalbein and Caroline Waters

Aage and I first met when I was fifteen years old and played second violin in the National Youth Symphonic Orchestra of Norway, where he was one of the cello instructors. I remember how he took my breath away by playing Flight of the Bumble Bee with incredible ease and emotion out on the lawn at lunch, just for fun. He later accompanied me both in concert and on television when I released my first CD, Compassion. Listening to Aage’s albums over the years have been a great inspiration for my composer self. He totally made my day at the end of my concert when he told me how much my music moved him and how he would love to co-create something with me in Norway next year.

Here’s a song for you! Sing along if you like:))) Being Totally Alive

Love and Blessings, Caroline

BEING TOTALLY ALIVE by Caroline Waters

I have been so ironically delusional
Suspicious and judgmental
Erratic sentimental
I’m sorry that I let you dwn
It took me a while to come around

I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you that I’m sorry
I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you not to worry

I’d like to start all over if I can
Take you hand and walk together while we figure out a plan
To explore what we would like to feel and taste and see and learn
To be free from all the stuff that keeps us from our being

Being totally alive
Being totally alive

I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you that I miss you
I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you I want to kiss you

I’d like to start all over if I can
Take you hand and walk together while we figure out a plan
To explore what we would like to feel and taste and see and learn
To be free from all the stuff that keeps us from our being

Being totally alive
Being totally alive