Many people who suffer serious trauma turn to drugs, alcohol or other destructive behavioural patterns in order to cope. And more often than not, those patterns can lead to a lifetime of prolonged pain and suffering. Since I too fell into several destructive patterns to manage the insane levels of pain and fear that followed my traumatic brain injury, I know all to well how difficult it can be to break free from such addictive substances and behavioural patterns.
I almost died in that near death car accident when I was eighteen years old. It took years of painful rehabilitation before I was able to get back to a sense of self and purpose. And one of the main things that kept me going, through the pain, through the anxiety, through the feeling of being completely lost and alone, was singing and writing – expressing myself with no holds barred. Because I grew up in an entertainment family and was encouraged to develop my talent as a creative artist early on, expressing myself through music and writing was already deeply embedded in my makeup when I had my accident. And truth be told, I don’t know that I would have survived without it.
When I felt crazy and alone and unable to communicate verbally in any kind of cohesive manner, I just wanted to die. And when the pain was so extreme that I wanted to murder someone, I just wanted to die. But because I had a way to express myself, even when I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone how I was feeling, I didn’t die. Through journaling and writing songs and singing, I was able to identify, process and release some of the pain, fear and craziness that I was carrying. And by taking voice lessons from a remarkably empathic and caring teacher, I was able to feel a sense of mastery. When I felt that I failed at everything else, such as trying to have a normal conversation or get a passing grade in school or have any sense of continuity in terms of time, space or identity, I could manage this one thing. I could sing.
So, I practiced singing every single day. Sometimes as much as three or four hours a day. And as I learned to breathe with greater ease, release the tension in my jaw and neck and shoulders, engage the muscles that would support my expression and open wide to effortlessly allow the sound of my voice; As I allowed myself to open to the gift of my song, all these other gifts would follow. My brain would heal. My body would get stronger. My sense of self and self confidence would improve. My sense of humor would return. By journaling daily and by practicing the tools and techniques given to me by my vocal coach, I simply found a way back to life and a sense of purpose.
In my program, Journey to Vocal Freedom, I combine several of the tools and techniques that helped me recover from trauma and become the artist that I am today. And Vocal Freedom Camp was initially created to help trauma survivors identify, process and release blocks to their expression. Today, it’s a fun transformative inspirational seminar for anyone who want to free their expression, let go of blocks and empower their authentic voice.
The next Vocal Freedom Camp LIVE seminar is happening in Oslo, Norway, on January 31st and February 1st. Feel free to join and/ or share the Facebook event.
If you’d rather join a 6-week Online Journey to Vocal Freedom Master Class or sign up for individual sessions, feel free to email me at voice@carolinewaters.com
Musically Yours,
Caroline
Caroline Waters' Vocal Freedom Blog 