Two things helped speed up my recovery more than anything else: Writing and Vocal Expression. By writing my thoughts and feelings on paper, I found a way to process the overwhelming amount of fear and trauma that otherwise created panic attacks. And by singing the songs that emerged from the deep of my soul, I was able to transform feelings of rage and despair to empowered joyous expression.

This transformation didn’t happen overnight, by any stretch of the imagination. It happened slowly and gradually, over many years. But I can tell you this. The more I allowed myself to express myself, verbally and vocally, the faster I healed. Today, after eight albums, eight movies, somewhere in the vicinity of fifteen hundred performances and two decades of Vocal Freedom, I am grateful beyond compare.

Why writing helps: Writing gives us a sanctuary, a place to explore and expand and appreciate and clarify and organize and summon and release. We have so many treasures hidden within, simply within our ability to perceive. When we allow ourselves to tune into our inner wisdom, our consciousness expands, we reach a higher level of vibration and more of our dreams and aspirations are available to us.

Why singing helps: Singing inspires every single cell of our being to its fullest potential. It soothes our nervous systems, distracts our otherwise busy minds and aligns us with our dreams and aspirations. When we allow ourselves to sing the song that is in our hearts, we allow ourselves to tune into our inner wisdom on a purely vibrational level, which expands our consciousness even more and connects us to all that is in the most joyous fashion. From this point of connection anything is possible.

Enjoy your expression!

Love Always, Caroline

Bringing people together
This “song contest” used to be called “a melody festival” in the past in Norway.  I really liked those words… This event was created for the purpose of bringing together people from all different countries, coming together as one people, to celebrate our hearts in song. It really doesn’t matter who wins. It matters that we are all in it together, creating a space where the songs in our hearts can be heard and shared by many.

I am not only talking about the pressure related to the performance itself but also the challenge of promoting each performance sufficiently for each venue. It used to be so easy, or so it seemed…

All through my childhood, I walked on stage with the expectation of a full house, cheering me on throughout my performance, followed by hundreds of fans lining up for an autograph as I excited the theater. I had no idea what marketing efforts lay behind such a scene. It was just there for me to bask in and shine and savor.

As I grew into adulthood, I learned the art of marketing, creating my own shows and of running my own record label. Since I already had the expectation of full houses and a famed upbringing to draw from it was easy at first. My confident attitude combined with plenty of goodwill in the media got me off to a great start.

How do I cope with the performance pressure when life comes crashing down?

It’s not like my life was an easy one, by any stretch of the imagination. After getting completely smashed in a car accident at eighteen, I had to rebuild my leg, brain function, speech and memory from scratch. But the confidence and the work ethics that was instilled in me from childhood was still there, cheering me on.

Miraculously, I was able to utilize whatever obstacles came my way to further my creativity and performance value. Granted, it took many years to heal the trauma, quite a bit of schooling and a bunch of therapy to pull me through, but performance wise, I always seemed good to go. Almost always.

I have often struggled, however, with the emotional pressure that comes with being an artist. More specifically, I have struggled with the “need” to be as good as I can possibly be in any given situation. My father, the great entertainer, expected nothing less. And, even though he made work a lot of fun, the underlying expectation of excellence in all performance was loud and clear.

How do I break the cycle of workaholism and truly harness the power of my creative talent?

I have learned my lesson over and over, the hard way, that it doesn’t work in the long run to push or will my way through. And I have asked myself over and over why it is that I keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome. Twelve step groups will tell me it is called insanity. My work ethic oriented mind will tell me it is the only way to succeed. All I know is, I have to find another way.

In order to break this thing, this cycle, I have to resist my mind and go against my deepest instincts. I have to disobey my inner dad and break the rules of my “perfectionist” ego. My heart, of course, tells me to relax, breathe and receive the good. But in order to follow my heart I need to make friends with my ego in order to prevent it from sabotaging. It’s a tricky thing…

Or maybe it’s all quite simple? Abraham Hicks, the author of “The Law of Attraction” and “Ask and It Is Given”, tells us that what we focus our attention on, we attract more of. In some ways, I have used my perfectionist upbringing as my excuse to hold myself from true, liberated excellence. So, here’s my genius plan:

Photo by Eva Groven

Just breathe

When I set aside my intellect and listen to my body. When I slow my breath enough to feel my heart beat. When I open my mind wide enough to see the aura expand from every plant and flower as they are being observed. When I take the time to breathe and witness the miracle of life that is happening all around me, is when I can truly access the amazing speed of my unconscious mind and the genius power that exists in alignment with source energy.

It is my desire to sing and play my way across the stage of life in total alignment with the well being that abounds. This means I have to slow down enough to notice what it is that holds my attention, and from there make sure that my focus is in alignment with my desire. I simply have to breathe. Just breathe. That’s my genius plan.

I have enclosed one of my favorite tunes for your listening pleasure, and the lyrics in case you want to sing along:)

Love Always, Caroline

In the Moment (from the Being Totally Alive CD)
Words and Music by Caroline Waters

What am I supposed to do, loving you the way that I love you
What am I supposed to say, could there be another way
What am I supposed to see when you look at me
How am I supposed to be in this dream reality

Oh it is perfect as it is
In the moment as we are
In the moment as we meet
In the moment

How can I release this fear and just let you love me
How can I begin to near what I’m really meant to be
How can I begin to breathe all the love I see
How can I fulfill the need of this dream reality

Oh it is perfect as it is
In the moment as we are
In the moment as we meet
In the moment

Cleaning up my own mess

I am a great believer in cleaning up my own mess before I try to mess with other people’s mess:) I believe that when we create a healthy foundation for our own well being, so that the song in our hearts can come through as loudly and clearly as possible, we have that much more power to affect the world at large. As a matter of fact, I believe that the song in our hearts, when we allow it to really sing, in itself works as an energetic cleanser, which in turn heals and nurtures the wounds of the world in mysterious ways.

Energy Sufficiency

First step for me, in dealing with the climate crisis in the world at large, is to get myself as healthy and energy sufficient as possible; by taking long walks every day, eating healthy and simply, giving away that which I no longer need/ use to those who might need it, being mindful of what I acquire, by collaborating and sharing with others whenever possible and by cutting down on my own poisonous emissions. This includes my thinking and speaking.

It seems easier to cut down in Oslo than Los Angeles. For example, in Oslo I don’t need a car, because distances are shorter and public transportation works swimmingly. On the other hand, I have to deal with freezing cold weather. Today it has dipped below 14 degrees. The way that I cope with the cold weather is by walking faster, farther and harder and by dressing accordingly.

New Solutions

Climate changes requires new solutions. If I were to expect to continue my Los Angeles routines here in Oslo, I’d be sadly disappointed. Instead, I conform to what is available here, in the freezing cold. I eat the foods that are the most energy sufficient to the climate. And, instead of going to the gym, I get all the workout I need from walking to and from where I need to go every day. It is tempting at times, to jump into a warm taxicab. It is also tempting to eat junk food and chocolate. But I try to keep a high awareness about the result I want for my body and well being, knowing that I have a job to do in the world at large. Knowing that I really do want to make a difference, not only with my words and music, but with how I conduct and treat myself, as part of a much bigger organism.

Willingness to adapt

To my surprise, I have gained tremendous momentum from this drastic change in climate, simply because I have embraced the change with such a willingness to adapt and take advantage of the opportunity the change has presented. Believe me, I was not looking forward to loosing sixty degrees of comfort…

It is my hope and my vision, that we, as humanity, seize the opportunity that the current climate crisis gives to gain tremendous momentum in our physical, mental and spiritual health and awareness. Perhaps we can finally learn to see ourselves and each other as vital parts of a much larger organism? I certainly do:)

Here’s a song I wrote about being one with our amazing planet:

FLYING ON THE WINGS OF LOVE
Words and Music by Caroline Waters

I am so amazingly in love

So remarkably connected

So nourished and protected

I can feel the earth sustaining me

Every heartbeat of the planet

Moving me in mystery

Coloring a rainbow trail

A highway of delicious moments

Calling me into the core

I am in ecstasy

In love with me

So thoroughly in awe

The intensity of beauty

Increasing as I breathe

I am a Goddess

In a world of awesome mystery

A reflection of divinity

An original epiphany of love

Flying on the wings of love

It was just before summer. I had finished my new CD, Exposed, and was hanging out in Oslo, Norway, to visit friends and family and see how I might proceed with marketing and such. I felt sluggish, energetically, in spite of the fact that I was very happy with the new CD and excited to promote it. Feeling overweight and out of shape, I decided in my mind that I needed to loose about twenty-two pounds.

Shortly after I returned to LA, I got hit with a bug that sent me into the hospital with acute colitis. I lost twenty-two pounds in three weeks, the exact number I had intended to loose. It was the weirdest thing. I couldn’t really understand why I got so sick, since I was eating fairly healthy and also had stepped into a healthier routine in many ways. The hospital couldn’t figure it out either. Was it simply the power of my intention, without properly specifying the method of accomplishment?

Changing my life for the better

It wasn’t fun, I can tell you that, and it has taken several months for me to be able to eat normal food again and take a walk without feeling out of breath. But somehow, the whole incident has changed my life for the better. Being so completely dependent on other people for help and so completely unable to make things happen the way I was used to making things happen, by pure force, I somehow opened a new door to my existence.

I have achieved humility, appreciation and the ability to more fully receive the love that others have for me. And I have achieved a new perspective on time, one that lets me breathe and take the time it takes to do whatever is needed. I have never before allowed myself this luxury, of letting life happen in its own sweet time. I’ve always felt a need to force things or make them happen. But as a result of this newfound humility, and consequent ability to receive life in a more organic fashion, I have gained tremendous momentum both in my career and in my personal life.

In just a few months, I have gained clarity in how to proceed with my music and performance. A tour of Scandinavia is in the works, a beautiful lover has arrived to accompany me on my journey and synchronicity abounds. I am in the flow of something real good. It is as if I have stepped into the next chapter of my life, where things move faster while I get to relax and enjoy the process. To my surprise, the weight has stayed off, in spite of the fact that I have gained back muscle and am eating much more food on a regular basis than I have in the last twenty years.

Receiving all the love that abounds

I don’t feel sluggish anymore. I feel eager to seize the day and see how I might contribute to the community at large with my music and being, receiving all the love that abounds in the process. Last Thursday at TID Kafé in Oslo, was a perfect example of this new gift of being, this perfect flow. The house was packed with the most loving audience ever. I sold more CDs in one setting than I ever have. And my heart was completely at ease, flowing over with appreciation for all that is, even the gnarly bugs that appear to rack havoc in our lives from time to time…

Here’s a link to Dancing In the Nude, a video snippet from the last concert and the lyrics below so you can sing along if you like:)

Dancing In The Nude by Caroline Waters
©2009 by Redhead Records. All Rights Reserved.

Dancing in the nude

Getting in the mood

Laughing as I groove into my

Being fully alive, feeling the drive

To be completely wild and seeing

All my worries fade away

As I begin to seize the day

I reach for my spirit in the sky

Flying high, not questioning why

I am deliriously happy to announce that my new CD, Exposed, has been delivered to the plant and is being printed as I write this. I am embarrassed to say that it took me some time to arrive at the deliriously happy stage, because I was still in obsessive work mode and could only think of what I needed to do next, like organize a release concert and tour and distribution and radio promotion and all that jazz.

The Beauty of Celebration

Coming from a family of highly effective worker bees, the need to constantly produce results is deeply embedded in my constitution. However, I have come to appreciate the value of celebration and savoring more and more. As a result, I am committed to creating a way of proceeding with everything in my life from a place of celebration.

The beauty of celebration gives everyone involved a chance to give thanks, to acknowledge and be acknowledged, to deepen our love for each other, to appreciate the fruits of our labor from new perspectives, to savor the journey itself and to allow ourselves to be inspired to even more joyous creations in the now. I love this!

The Power of Surrendering and Trusting

I realize how much of my life have been spent in a problem solving mode, getting from point A to point B, overcoming obstacles and hurdles, crossing off tasks in a list and achieving various degrees of success in the process. Even the celebrations have had an element of a need to achieve in them.

So now I am thinking, “What if I just let myself celebrate and savor without worrying so much about what it’s gonna look like or how it will be received?” It’s a frightening concept, to be less in control of the outcome, but also appealing. The notion that I can step into a place of surrender and trust that the idea of celebrating alone will attract a chain of events that will be pleasing to everyone involved is a new one for me.

The Art of Receiving

Esther Hicks channels the idea that if we stay out of the details as much as possible and focus on the art of receiving as much as possible, all will unfold that much more deliciously. This idea has also been my experience. The more I can keep my control issues at bay and simply receive the gifts of what I have summoned in my creatively inspired adventures, the better of I am.

My resolve is this: to celebrate the unfolding of the journey of this new CD as joyously, curiously, childlike, inclusively, blissfully, organically, socially, wildly unusually, serendipitously, romantically, gently and lovingly as possible. I welcome all who wish to join me in this adventure, to celebrate and co-create and dance with me. Let me know your thoughts and how I can be of service with my song and being in your joyous unfolding:)

Caroline Waters Exposed

If you’d like to check out my new CD, which is a collection of songs that have helped me through times of great adversity and songs written by some of my favorites heroes and heroines in music, such as Leonard Cohen, Jennifer Warnes, George Gershwin and Joni Mitchell, click here!

Love and Blessings, Caroline

I am working on a new album entitled Exposed. The idea is to explore just how honest I can get with my vocal expression. And, since I am accompanying myself on guitar, there’ll be no hiding behind anyone else’s musical genius in performance. My intention is, in the naked simplicity of my being, to reach a new level of vulnerability. It is my desire to connect with each and everyone who wants to listen, naked to the bone and with no holds bar.

The Healing  Power of the Wider Perspective

Have you ever experienced how events that in the moment fill you up with anger and self-pity can turn into the greatest blessing when seen as a vital part of a chain of events that has lead to where you are today? Discovering how different experiences look from a wider perspective has blown my mind completely.

I just finished writing my first novel, which is based on some of the most dramatic events in my experience.  The process of writing, in itself, has forced me to evaluate my life, the good and the bad, in a whole new framework.  As a result, I have reached a deeper level of loving acceptance for myself and for each and everyone who has graced my path so far.

The songs that I have chosen for the new CD are powerful reflections of that level of understanding.

More to be revealed…

Love and Blessings, Caroline

From Fear to Success

Caroline moments before her recent house concert in Oslo, Norway.

I was fortunate enough to experience a most magical promotional tour to Paris, France and Oslo, Norway this fall. My intention with the trip was threefold: To celebrate my sister’s birthday at the Lido in Paris, to celebrate my brother’s birthday at his beautiful home in Oslo, and to introduce my new CD, Being Totally Alive.

Paris made me nervous, since I had a bad experience on my last trip there, some 21 years ago. Long story short, I was assaulted and left with a strong sense of fear and disempowerment for many years to come. Since then, I have had great sadness about Paris, specially since it is regarded by so many as a city of beauty and romance.

This time, my dear friend and amazing actress Judi Beecher just happened to be finishing up a movie just as I arrived, which synchronistically created the opportunity for me to spend a whole day taking in the beauty and history of this magical city with someone who also could hold space for my experience. And by sharing my experience in this new time-space reality, I was able to release the fear of it and more fully realize the beauty of my life as it is today. Pretty cool, huh?

The Power of Celebration

This is how I see it: I made myself go to Paris because I was determined to celebrate my sister on her birthday. And because of my determination to celebrate and appreciate, I was given the opportunity to heal. Being Totally Alive was created from this point of view and in celebration of the love that connect us all. As a result, doors are opening that I never ever even knew existed.

Some people call me crazy for staying in the game of show business and for stubbornly moving forward with my dream building, not matter how gloomy the illusion of economy gets and no matter how many obstacles seem to be looming in the distance. But I can assure you that it is worth every breath of my being to stay in celebration, to let my creativity blossom and to let my heart sing whenever possible.

As previously mentioned, I was also determined to celebrate my brother on his birthday. And as it turned out, he generously offered to host a house concert with me singing and playing at his beautiful home in Oslo this last week. The turnout was simply amazing. I sold more CDs than I thought possible. And, as if that wasn’t enough, one of my most favorite musicians of all times, renowned cellist Aage Kvalbein, came by to see me.

My Meeting With Aage Kvalbein

Aage and I first met when I was fifteen years old and played second violin in the National Youth Symphonic Orchestra of Norway, where he was one of the cello instructors. I remember how he took my breath away by playing Flight of the Bumble Bee with incredible ease and emotion out on the lawn at lunch, just for fun. He later accompanied me both in concert and on television when I released my first CD, Compassion. Listening to Aage’s albums over the years have been a great inspiration for my composer self. He totally made my day at the end of my concert when he told me how much my music moved him and how he would love to co-create something with me in Norway next year.

Here’s a song for you! Sing along if you like:))) Being Totally Alive

Love and Blessings, Caroline

BEING TOTALLY ALIVE by Caroline Waters

I have been so ironically delusional
Suspicious and judgmental
Erratic sentimental
I’m sorry that I let you dwn
It took me a while to come around

I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you that I’m sorry
I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you not to worry

I’d like to start all over if I can
Take you hand and walk together while we figure out a plan
To explore what we would like to feel and taste and see and learn
To be free from all the stuff that keeps us from our being

Being totally alive
Being totally alive

I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you that I miss you
I hope it’s not too late for me to tell you I want to kiss you

I’d like to start all over if I can
Take you hand and walk together while we figure out a plan
To explore what we would like to feel and taste and see and learn
To be free from all the stuff that keeps us from our being

Being totally alive
Being totally alive

The new Caroline Waters website was launched last night, showing video clips from concerts, films, music videos and the theatre, audio clips from every song on every CD I have made so far, a fabulous new store and much, much more.

And… the new CD, Being Totally Alive, will be released in concert Upstairs at Vitello’s in Studio City on September 23rd. Amazing musicians, cellist Carter Dewberry and floutist/ saxophonist Katisse Buckingham, will be joining us as well.

And soon, very soon, I’ll be back to tell more stories on the magic and power of Vocal Freedom.

Love and Blessings, Caroline

About seven years ago, I found myself sitting in the sofa in my living room, unable to move, feeling completely helpless. Long story short, I was heartbroken from having invested a big chunk of myself into a relationship with an addict. And as a result of repeatedly not heading the deafening warning bells, I had tricked myself into believing that this person could provide me with the nurture that I needed, eventually, if I just loved them well enough. And as I sat there, as the walls of my illusion came crashing down, leaving me freezing cold and naked to the bone, all I wanted to do was cry for my mom to pick me up. Except Mom was long gone and I had no more brilliant solutions to keep me afloat on that big river in Egypt. It was over.

As I sat there, feeling the excruciating magnitude of my loneliness, without moving to fix it, the feeling intensified to the point where I thought I was going to die. And as I let myself fully embrace the death of me in that moment, a shift happened. That very moment is when I learned to nurture myself from the inside. I got up from the sofa, sat down by the grand piano and began to sing, “It’s gonna be alright you know, little angel. It’s gonna be alright you know, little angel of mine.” I finished the whole song in less than half and hour, and to this day, it is one of my favorite tunes.

Little Angel to the Movies

Little Angel was just picked up to be in the final scene going into the end credits in a movie called, Next of Kin, and can also be found on the Venus Envy CD. I have enclosed the song for your listening pleasure and the lyrics, so you can sing along:)

Love and Blessings, Caroline

Little Angel by Caroline Waters (Get the CD)

It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel of mine

I’ll hold you close and I’ll keep you warm
Cause I love you so, little angel of mine

No one’s gonna hurt you now, little angel
No one’s gonna hurt you now, little angel of mine
I’m gonna take care of you, little angel
I’m gonna take care of you, little angel of mine

I’ll be your mom and I’ll keep you from harm
Till the end of time, little angel of mine

You’ll never be alone again, little angel
You’ll never be alone again, little angel of mine
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel of mine

I’ll keep you safe and I’ll let you cry
Then I’ll see you fly, little angel of mine

It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel
It’s gonna be alright, you know, little angel of mine