Stilling the voices of fear
It has taken almost ten years to finish the process of writing this memoir. The writing itself didn’t take that long, but stilling the voices of fear and arriving at a point of feeling worthy of sharing it took lots and lots of processing.

Since I grew up as a child star and got ample validation for my performance, sharing myself in musical and theatrical ways have been much easier than sharing myself as a person. In many ways, I have hidden behind my artist image, carefully selecting the pieces that had “promotional value” for public display.

At this point in my career, all I really care about is to share my truth and being in ways that will empower and build bridges of love, tolerance and understanding. And, in order to do that, I need to be as real and honest as I possibly can.

Some say our brains are wired to focus on problem solving as a modern extension of our basic survival instinct, no matter how well we are doing/ being. We also seem to have forgotten to utilize the art of appreciation and acknowledgement on a daily basis. Until Thanksgiving comes around, or Christmas, we seem to bury our heads in the sands of our tasks.

The glorious results of childhood conditioning
I spent most of my childhood in eager and active pursuit of goals related to my intellectual, physical and artistic progress. I learned early on to appreciate the value of discipline, hard work and focused study. And for this I am grateful. But for the longest time I didn’t realize that I or anyone else, or life itself for that matter, had value other than in the achievement of goals or perfected performance.

Today, after a rich life of contrasting experiences, I savor and appreciate as much as I can, as I know it is the KEY to my happiness.

The important art of savoring
When we savor a moment, we let ourselves be filled with awareness which in turn expands our consciousness in that instant. Have you noticed that when you stop to smell a flower, you also become aware of more of your surroundings?

When we become aware of our surroundings in the spirit of appreciation, we  open ourselves to what is possible and to the gifts that are there for us.

The dangerous art of complaining
It never cease to amaze me when I listen to someone complain about something and I realize that they are totally blind to the opportunities that would be apparent to them if they’d only stop complaining. For example:

I met a man in a seminar I attended, who was buried in grief about his daughter’s illness. I listened patiently for a while and then offered a resource that I knew had helped a lot of people in the same situation. But it was as if he didn’t want to know about it. It seemed as if he was more interested in continuing his rambling than finding a solution to his daughter’s condition. I wrote the name of the resource on my card and handed it to him, but found my card on the floor underneath his chair when he left the seminar. My heart just ached.

Living like there’s no tomorrow
I was blessed with a serious car accident that helped me get out of my own way. I don’t wish this on anyone else, but for me it almost seemed like it was necessary to force me to “let go and let God”. During the course of my tremendously tumultuous journey of recovery and discovery, I have learned to appreciate and savor each moment like there’s no tomorrow.

Today, I appreciate every single day I get to wake up and seize the day. And as I practice savoring every lesson learned and every single being who grace my path, I am discovering a whole new world of opportunity, creativity and deliciousness I never knew existed.

The Trick: Replacing fear with appreciation
There is one little trick to this appreciation business. You can’t be fearful and savor at the same time, so you’ve got to let the fear go bye-bye. This takes a bit of courage to do, but if you practice savoring the stuff that has less of a charge, your appreciation muscle will soon become strong enough to shoo the fear away!

I have done it, so I know it works:)

Finding Venus – Come Hell or High Waters
If you’d like, you can catch a sneak peak of my journey of recovery and discovery, as I have just finished creating  a web site for my new musical, Finding Venus – Come Hell or High Waters, with video and sound clips  and all that Jazz!

Finding Venus - Come Hell or High Waters

All Love, Caroline

The art of appreciation, focus and communication

How can we set the tone for a more harmonious co-creation? How can we empower each other to collaborate in the spirit of love? How can we allow ourselves to receive the good that abounds and let the energy of good vibrations reverberate into the world at large?

These are some of the main tools that help me stay focused and inspired:

Appreciation – Express what you appreciate as often as you can, in words and action, and bask in the feeling of that which you appreciate as you go about your day. Write it, sing it, speak it, show it in all kinds of ways you  can think of and watch how your perspective and the world around you transforms as a result.

Focus – Keep you eye on what it is you wish to accomplish, create, receive and avoid fear based distractions. Give your attention, time and energy to that which you love and want to see blossom and thrive. Do this with any scenario that has your attention and see what happens.

Communication – Share your strengths, vision and gifts in ways that gives you joy and feels good in your heart and soul. Ask for help when you need it and receive the love that abounds with open arms, also when it comes in unexpected ways.

These simple tools have helped me in more ways than I can describe. By keeping my eye on the ball, giving and receiving in the spirit of joy and heartfelt communication and practicing the art of appreciation as much as I can, I am able to stay positive and creative in the face of adversity and turmoil. By focusing on the positive aspects, I can see the beauty and creative potential in people and situations that otherwise would have scared me and inhibited my expression.

Here’s my song Did You Know as I performed it with cellist Erlend Habbestad at an amazing venue called Smöga in Sweden last summer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4swoKym5y5Q

Love and Blessings, Caroline

Here’s my definition: Success happens when my heart and soul is enriched by my being, when I follow the song in my heart to it’s most joyous potential and let that joy reverberate in words, music and action into the world at large. My success is not defined by sales or ratings. It is measured only by my passionate involvement and how well I care for the life and talent that is available to me at any given time.

Thank YOU for being part of the passionate musical journey that sent my heart soaring in 2010! Your joyous participation helped my music expand into Sweden, New York, Washington DC, Tennessee, Arizona and more of California, and brought about a glorious gig opportunity in San Francisco for 2011.

THE NORWAY DAY FESTIVAL 2011
On April 30th and May 1st, I will be representing Norway as entertainer at the Norway Day Festival in San Francisco. I have been asked to open the festival, sing the Norwegian and American national anthems, give two feature performances at the main stage (one each day) as well as several pub performances during the day. This is a great honor and I am very excited to create a most delicious music menu for this.

Here’s a video with the two of us performing together

Hope to see you! More info and CDs at http://www.carolinewaters.com

I remember how profoundly it struck me when Sally Field’s character, Sybil, was at the point in her therapy when she felt that the world was coming to an end. And the therapist pointed out that it wasn’t the world that was coming to an end, it was just Sybil’s world as she knew it that was changing in a big way. She was actually beginning to remember parts of her life and thus coming together as a personality system in a better way.

Sometimes allowing things to fall apart is the best thing we can do. Often resistance only serves to prolong the agony and fear of change. When we allow ourselves to go with the flow and surrender to the process of what is happening instead of denying it or fighting it, we create space for a greater part of ourselves to emerge.

And don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that we shouldn’t stand up for ourselves or fight for what we believe in. I only mean that when there is a breakdown of sorts in our lives, it can be useful to surrender to the natural process of that breakdown in order to achieve the full benefit of what is created as things fall back together again.

For example: When we feel like we are coming down with something, it is not an uncommon practice to fight it or suppress it with pills and caffeine instead of listening to the signals our bodies are giving us and taking the time to nurture ourselves and rejuvenate. We are so conditioned in our society to suppress our feelings and keep it together and tough it out that we are forgetting how amazing we really are. Yet, when we actually listen and nurture ourselves accordingly, we emerge as stronger, happier and more productive beings.

This is nothing new. I am only choosing to look at it more closely these days, since I have made a commitment to allow myself to feel more and do less. The commitment came about as I realized I was heading full speed into a dead end street (figuratively, not literally) as a performer by working too much, playing too little and burning that famous candle in both ends. My programmed response, from years and years of deadline driven habits and adrenaline junky behaviors, would have been to will the dead end street into a through street and plow ahead as if nothing had happened.

Instead I stopped, got out of the car and began to smell the flowers. And, as I allowed myself to breathe and to surrender to doing absolutely nothing but smelling those flowers, a new idea formed in my mind: “What would happen if I let myself just be for a while? If I actually took that time off that I said I would take off after I finished my last project? Would my world fall apart? And if it did, would it then be possible for it to come back together in a much better way?

Sometimes all we need is to get out of our own way.

Love and Blessings, Caroline

When I was eighteen years old, I was hit by a car that severed my left leg and sent me flying 28 feet through the air, landing face first in the pavement. Long story short, it took awhile to get my body and brain up and running again. Four years, to be exact.

The first amazing gift of this event was learning that I could be perfectly happy in the moment without all the elements I thought I needed to be happy. I actually received the gift of loving me, just for being. The elements I thought I needed to be happy were things like; being an A-student, winning competitions, looking sharp, slim and fit, performing well and being a people pleaser.

By removing these elements for a period of time, and thus being effectively stripped of superficial distractions, I learned to appreciate the gift of every moment of life that was available to me.

Today, 26 years later, as I am about to leave for my first National Tour of the USA as a solo artist, I feel incredibly blessed by the perspective the gift of starting over has given me. I feel that I am starting over in so many ways, and instead of feeling nervous or pressured, I feel grateful simply for the gift of being alive and for the gift it is to be living my dream as an artist.

The gift of releasing fear and worry

Yesterday, in the midst of composing press releases for the upcoming tour, I found myself in the not so uncommon sea of worry about the future. Will they ignore me? Will enough people show up for my performances? Will I be able to make ends meet at the end of the road? All these thoughts scurried around in my head as I struggled to find the most perfect wording to entice the New York media.

The worrying didn’t help at all. I can tell you that right away. It put me in a space of feeling heavy and incompetent and unfocused. Realizing this, I was able to release the fear and the tension and the worry in a surprisingly short amount of time. And the transformation that occurred was astounding.

The moment I decided to release my fear of not being/ doing enough and embrace the gift of my being, messages began to trickle in from people all over the world, affirming their appreciation and support of my music and performance. This felt wonderful of course. But the most important transformation took place within me.

I woke up this morning feeling truly liberated in my body. And I had this knowing within that who I am and what I do in this world is enough. It doesn’t matter how many people show up for my performances or how many CDs I sell or how many newspaper articles gets written about me. The only thing that matters is that I keep letting my heart move me into action and let that song that makes my heart sing be heard, loud and clear, far or near, wherever it takes me.

I am excited for this Tour, for the people I’ll meet and the places I’ll see. I’m excited to move and be moved, to love and be loved, to listen and explore, and eternally grateful for the chance of starting over every single day.

Here’s the tour schedule and a video: http://www.carolinewaters.com/shows.php

Love and Blessings, Caroline

Two things helped speed up my recovery more than anything else: Writing and Vocal Expression. By writing my thoughts and feelings on paper, I found a way to process the overwhelming amount of fear and trauma that otherwise created panic attacks. And by singing the songs that emerged from the deep of my soul, I was able to transform feelings of rage and despair to empowered joyous expression.

This transformation didn’t happen overnight, by any stretch of the imagination. It happened slowly and gradually, over many years. But I can tell you this. The more I allowed myself to express myself, verbally and vocally, the faster I healed. Today, after eight albums, eight movies, somewhere in the vicinity of fifteen hundred performances and two decades of Vocal Freedom, I am grateful beyond compare.

Why writing helps: Writing gives us a sanctuary, a place to explore and expand and appreciate and clarify and organize and summon and release. We have so many treasures hidden within, simply within our ability to perceive. When we allow ourselves to tune into our inner wisdom, our consciousness expands, we reach a higher level of vibration and more of our dreams and aspirations are available to us.

Why singing helps: Singing inspires every single cell of our being to its fullest potential. It soothes our nervous systems, distracts our otherwise busy minds and aligns us with our dreams and aspirations. When we allow ourselves to sing the song that is in our hearts, we allow ourselves to tune into our inner wisdom on a purely vibrational level, which expands our consciousness even more and connects us to all that is in the most joyous fashion. From this point of connection anything is possible.

Enjoy your expression!

Love Always, Caroline

I was puzzled by the massive show of police around the Israeli embassy and by the intensity of the slogans. “The Israelis want to kill us all,” sounded loud and clear as we made our way through the castle park, starkly contrasting the colorful and harmonious array of people sun bathing and picnicking all around us. I didn’t think much of it, because we are used to people expressing their opinions in passionate measures in this city. Passionate, yet non-violent.

I am left feeling grateful to know from experience that peaceful coexistence with people of different cultures and preferences is more than possible. It creates amazing opportunities to grow and thrive as a society. How can we ease the fear of those who are ignorant of this fact? How can we encourage love, compassion, understanding, communication and forgiveness on a larger scale?

My good friend and brilliant writer/ actor/ teacher Brenda Adelman is doing her one-woman-show, My Brooklyn Hamlet, in London this summer and I am writing some of the music for it. Her show is about forgiveness and this lady knows what she is talking about. Her father murdered her mother and married her aunt. She spent many years teaching herself how to forgive and is now being a formidable coach for others who struggle with letting go of their anger toward themselves and others. She has a fabulous free newsletter also. Here’s her site: http://www.forgivenessandfreedom.com

Here’s a song I wrote for my own upcoming musical, Come Hell or High Waters. It’s not recorded yet, but I can give you the words for now. Enjoy!

Love and Blessings, Caroline

DID YOU KNOW?
Words and Music by Caroline Waters

Did you know we’re the same you and I
Did you know, we can see eye to eye
Did you know, we can fly, you and I

Did you know, we are always free
To choose however we want it to be
And create all the magic we want to see

We’re perfect parts of each others creation
Brilliant extensions of our elation
We’re more than a mere manifestation
More like a convention of manifest intention

It’s all a dream of our construction
It’s all good, like tax deduction
Or like a really good film production

Did you know, there’s a pie in the sky
Did you know, there’s no real goodbye
Did you know, we can fly, you and I

We’re gonna make everything okay
There’s no limit to the power of our say
If we listen to our heart and stay
With the groove that it gives us day by day

Did you know, there’s a pie
Did you know, we can fly

©2010 by Caroline Waters. All Rights Reserved.

Bringing people together
This “song contest” used to be called “a melody festival” in the past in Norway.  I really liked those words… This event was created for the purpose of bringing together people from all different countries, coming together as one people, to celebrate our hearts in song. It really doesn’t matter who wins. It matters that we are all in it together, creating a space where the songs in our hearts can be heard and shared by many.

I am not only talking about the pressure related to the performance itself but also the challenge of promoting each performance sufficiently for each venue. It used to be so easy, or so it seemed…

All through my childhood, I walked on stage with the expectation of a full house, cheering me on throughout my performance, followed by hundreds of fans lining up for an autograph as I excited the theater. I had no idea what marketing efforts lay behind such a scene. It was just there for me to bask in and shine and savor.

As I grew into adulthood, I learned the art of marketing, creating my own shows and of running my own record label. Since I already had the expectation of full houses and a famed upbringing to draw from it was easy at first. My confident attitude combined with plenty of goodwill in the media got me off to a great start.

How do I cope with the performance pressure when life comes crashing down?

It’s not like my life was an easy one, by any stretch of the imagination. After getting completely smashed in a car accident at eighteen, I had to rebuild my leg, brain function, speech and memory from scratch. But the confidence and the work ethics that was instilled in me from childhood was still there, cheering me on.

Miraculously, I was able to utilize whatever obstacles came my way to further my creativity and performance value. Granted, it took many years to heal the trauma, quite a bit of schooling and a bunch of therapy to pull me through, but performance wise, I always seemed good to go. Almost always.

I have often struggled, however, with the emotional pressure that comes with being an artist. More specifically, I have struggled with the “need” to be as good as I can possibly be in any given situation. My father, the great entertainer, expected nothing less. And, even though he made work a lot of fun, the underlying expectation of excellence in all performance was loud and clear.

How do I break the cycle of workaholism and truly harness the power of my creative talent?

I have learned my lesson over and over, the hard way, that it doesn’t work in the long run to push or will my way through. And I have asked myself over and over why it is that I keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome. Twelve step groups will tell me it is called insanity. My work ethic oriented mind will tell me it is the only way to succeed. All I know is, I have to find another way.

In order to break this thing, this cycle, I have to resist my mind and go against my deepest instincts. I have to disobey my inner dad and break the rules of my “perfectionist” ego. My heart, of course, tells me to relax, breathe and receive the good. But in order to follow my heart I need to make friends with my ego in order to prevent it from sabotaging. It’s a tricky thing…

Or maybe it’s all quite simple? Abraham Hicks, the author of “The Law of Attraction” and “Ask and It Is Given”, tells us that what we focus our attention on, we attract more of. In some ways, I have used my perfectionist upbringing as my excuse to hold myself from true, liberated excellence. So, here’s my genius plan:

Photo by Eva Groven

Just breathe

When I set aside my intellect and listen to my body. When I slow my breath enough to feel my heart beat. When I open my mind wide enough to see the aura expand from every plant and flower as they are being observed. When I take the time to breathe and witness the miracle of life that is happening all around me, is when I can truly access the amazing speed of my unconscious mind and the genius power that exists in alignment with source energy.

It is my desire to sing and play my way across the stage of life in total alignment with the well being that abounds. This means I have to slow down enough to notice what it is that holds my attention, and from there make sure that my focus is in alignment with my desire. I simply have to breathe. Just breathe. That’s my genius plan.

I have enclosed one of my favorite tunes for your listening pleasure, and the lyrics in case you want to sing along:)

Love Always, Caroline

In the Moment (from the Being Totally Alive CD)
Words and Music by Caroline Waters

What am I supposed to do, loving you the way that I love you
What am I supposed to say, could there be another way
What am I supposed to see when you look at me
How am I supposed to be in this dream reality

Oh it is perfect as it is
In the moment as we are
In the moment as we meet
In the moment

How can I release this fear and just let you love me
How can I begin to near what I’m really meant to be
How can I begin to breathe all the love I see
How can I fulfill the need of this dream reality

Oh it is perfect as it is
In the moment as we are
In the moment as we meet
In the moment