I am also intensely excited, as I feel like I am stepping onto a new stage of life, in my home country, as someone who has come full circle in so many ways.

Three weeks from now I will be performing my new jazzy musical thriller, Finding Venus (På Hengende Håret), for the first time with a full cast in Norwegian. Yeah, it’s happening at Herr Nilsen in Oslo on June 21st!

The scary part is that I suspect I might be met with a more critical eye and ear in these parts, since I come from a well known entertainment family, which of course entails certain expectations. At the same time it feels absolutely fantastic to finally get to tell my story of healing and transformation, which has been partially hidden for so many years.

The cast is fantastic, just the right mix of talented, wild and wise. A beautiful bundle of creative energies, each with their own unique expression of love and life.

The musicians are some of my very favorite in the world. Deb and I used to play together in a duo called Sirens. We’d make the European clubs go wild with our combination of jazzy classical pop and funky groovy out-of-this-world weirdness. Aage and I met when I played my violin in a Nordic Youth Symphony orchestra at fifteen and have played together off and on since then. Amazing cellist!

Here’s a link to the calendar and ticket sales: www.carolinewaters.com/shows.php

Here’s a link to my official website, where you can find video and sound clips for both the Norwegian and English versions: www.carolinewaters.com

Looking forward!

Love and Blessings, Caroline

It has been interesting, reading about Anders Behring Breivik and how he chose to focus his attention in increasingly destructive ways in the years leading up to the mass murder. I find it extremely valuable to see the correlation between focus and action in human behavior.

When I was recovering from a serious head injury and addicted to prescription drugs, following a serious car accident in my late teens, I too was negatively focused for periods of time. My emotions ranged from depressed to homicidal, which created some rather disturbing thought processes.

I don’t know exactly why I didn’t end up as a drug addict, alcoholic or murdering maniac in the end. I certainly had enough crazy thoughts and violent emotions in me to go there. Was it that little voice of reason that guided me through the despair and kept me on the path of healing rather than destruction? Was it the music that allowed me a positive outlet for all kinds of thoughts and feelings? Was it family, friends and angels on my path who gently nurtured me back to Self?

How life affirming choices makes a difference:

I am fully aware that I made choices every single day of my recovery. Choices that probably saved my life. But how come I chose the way I did? What was it that made me able to quit the prescription drugs, cold turkey, in spite of the horrible pain I was in, when so many others simply cannot? And what was it that made me choose being good over being bad when bad felt so much more in sync with the painful state of mind I was in? How was I able to transform pain into something life affirming and positive when every cell in my body was screaming bloody murder?

Some say I had it in me from the start, that I was born with a powerful ability to positively focus my attention beyond immediate needs. This I do know: The power of music and having permission to express myself, verbally and vocally, with no holds bar, has made it possible for me to come full circle. I think we all have the ability to do crazy destructive things if  we are bottled up inside. Having a positive outlet is key to any healing journey.

The power and magic of Vocal Freedom:

One of the main reasons I choose to share my journey of healing transformation in words and music is to give hope to those who are struggling with similar issues. Many who experience trauma go through similar negative behavioral patterns as a result of the pain and the fear involved. People may have different coping mechanisms based on their upbringing and support structure, but many patterns are triggered through the subconscious fight/ flight mechanisms, which we all share, regardless of our make-up and social habitat.

Vocal Freedom Camp is specifically designed to gently find, strengthen and nurture the voices in each and every one of us that need to be heard. In addition to promoting my new musical thriller, Finding Venus, which tells the story of my powerful transformational journey, I am working to set up a series of Vocal Freedom Camp seminars to tour Norway and the US.

Please let me know if you have venue suggestions or would like to book a seminar in your town. I am also available for private one-on-one sessions.

More info at www.carolinewaters.com

All Love, Caroline

Stilling the voices of fear
It has taken almost ten years to finish the process of writing this memoir. The writing itself didn’t take that long, but stilling the voices of fear and arriving at a point of feeling worthy of sharing it took lots and lots of processing.

Since I grew up as a child star and got ample validation for my performance, sharing myself in musical and theatrical ways have been much easier than sharing myself as a person. In many ways, I have hidden behind my artist image, carefully selecting the pieces that had “promotional value” for public display.

At this point in my career, all I really care about is to share my truth and being in ways that will empower and build bridges of love, tolerance and understanding. And, in order to do that, I need to be as real and honest as I possibly can.

Some say our brains are wired to focus on problem solving as a modern extension of our basic survival instinct, no matter how well we are doing/ being. We also seem to have forgotten to utilize the art of appreciation and acknowledgement on a daily basis. Until Thanksgiving comes around, or Christmas, we seem to bury our heads in the sands of our tasks.

The glorious results of childhood conditioning
I spent most of my childhood in eager and active pursuit of goals related to my intellectual, physical and artistic progress. I learned early on to appreciate the value of discipline, hard work and focused study. And for this I am grateful. But for the longest time I didn’t realize that I or anyone else, or life itself for that matter, had value other than in the achievement of goals or perfected performance.

Today, after a rich life of contrasting experiences, I savor and appreciate as much as I can, as I know it is the KEY to my happiness.

The important art of savoring
When we savor a moment, we let ourselves be filled with awareness which in turn expands our consciousness in that instant. Have you noticed that when you stop to smell a flower, you also become aware of more of your surroundings?

When we become aware of our surroundings in the spirit of appreciation, we  open ourselves to what is possible and to the gifts that are there for us.

The dangerous art of complaining
It never cease to amaze me when I listen to someone complain about something and I realize that they are totally blind to the opportunities that would be apparent to them if they’d only stop complaining. For example:

I met a man in a seminar I attended, who was buried in grief about his daughter’s illness. I listened patiently for a while and then offered a resource that I knew had helped a lot of people in the same situation. But it was as if he didn’t want to know about it. It seemed as if he was more interested in continuing his rambling than finding a solution to his daughter’s condition. I wrote the name of the resource on my card and handed it to him, but found my card on the floor underneath his chair when he left the seminar. My heart just ached.

Living like there’s no tomorrow
I was blessed with a serious car accident that helped me get out of my own way. I don’t wish this on anyone else, but for me it almost seemed like it was necessary to force me to “let go and let God”. During the course of my tremendously tumultuous journey of recovery and discovery, I have learned to appreciate and savor each moment like there’s no tomorrow.

Today, I appreciate every single day I get to wake up and seize the day. And as I practice savoring every lesson learned and every single being who grace my path, I am discovering a whole new world of opportunity, creativity and deliciousness I never knew existed.

The Trick: Replacing fear with appreciation
There is one little trick to this appreciation business. You can’t be fearful and savor at the same time, so you’ve got to let the fear go bye-bye. This takes a bit of courage to do, but if you practice savoring the stuff that has less of a charge, your appreciation muscle will soon become strong enough to shoo the fear away!

I have done it, so I know it works:)

Finding Venus – Come Hell or High Waters
If you’d like, you can catch a sneak peak of my journey of recovery and discovery, as I have just finished creating  a web site for my new musical, Finding Venus – Come Hell or High Waters, with video and sound clips  and all that Jazz!

Finding Venus - Come Hell or High Waters

All Love, Caroline

As I ventured to my favorite Starbucks, and happened to sit down next to an ultra conservative, self proclaimed Christian, I made the “mistake” of mentioning in conversation, to the person sitting across from me, that I thought it was a good thing that the court system in Norway was treating Anders Behring Breivik, the serial killer, with courtesy and respect in their proceedings.

Being challenged

The guy next to me just simply took off, raising his voice and saying things like, “Who are you to forgive? Who gave you that right?” And then he proceeded to tell me about his grand mother who was raped and murdered by someone who “only” served fifteen years in prison and is a free man today. Clearly, there were some unresolved feelings on his part. Since I recognized the pain underlying his statement, I actively listened with a compassionate heart, yet maintained my position; that I believed we could only heal this kind of violence by holding ourselves to a higher standard.

Feeling powerless

The saddest thing to me was that he seemed completely unable to hear anything other than what might be fueling his rage. He just continued to ramble on about “what the bastards deserve is to get raped and killed themselves… an eye for an eye..” etc. “Wouldn’t that just turn the rest of us into monsters?” I asked, but that only served to fuel his anger even more. When I asked him his name he wouldn’t give it. When I told him that I was sorry I made him upset and that that was not my intention, he said “Shut up and leave me alone! I don’t want to talk with you!” So, as he continued to ask me questions in an accusatory manner, but not wanting to hear any answers, I felt I had no choice but to leave.

Adding perspective

The person across from me, who had witnessed the whole thing, said not to take it personally, that this guy always worked himself up over other people’s statements. He even said the guy might even end up killing someone in a rage one day, just because of his lack of ability to listen to other people’s point of view. No pun intended. This, of course, gave me pause.

It made me sad that I had to leave. It made me feel powerless over the situation. I really wanted for us to come to some kind of understanding, even if it meant to agree not to agree. And it made me realize how upsetting it is to me when people choose their anger and righteous claim to whatever their point of view is, rather than being open to civilized debate. It saddens me when people shut down, for whatever reason, instead of opening to communication and to widening their perspective.

Finding a solution

How can we contribute to that wider perspective in our communication without fueling the rage of those who cannot handle what we are trying to say? One answer could be that it simply isn’t possible, that one person’s expansion might more often than not contain someone else’s trigger.

I know all too well that I cannot please everyone, that I certainly cannot control anyone’s choice of expression and that when I choose to take a stand in a public space, I am vulnerable to the wrath of those who oppose my view.

As a performing artist, author, composer, Vocal Freedom coach and keynote speaker, I am on a mission to empower people to their heartfelt expression. The tricky part is, as healthy as I believe it is to express angry as well as joyous notions, to channel these expression in ways that honor our co-creative efforts.

Learning from the actions of a serial killer

Anders Behring Breivik thought it necessary to kill in order to get his point across. He said he felt unheard and disrespected in his previous attempts to communicate in a “more civilized” manner. This is a powerful statement, from someone who, however misguided and delusional, was able to carry out one of the worst terrorist attacks in modern history.

To listen without prejudice

I have made a vow, to listen without prejudice as much as I can, to those who happen to cross my path. We all need to be heard, seen and validated in order to survive and thrive and make our best contribution on this planet. And our contrasting perspectives are what makes us learn and grow and expand.

Imagine what we could co-create if we were to treat each other as if we sang in a choir together or played in a symphony orchestra. Each of us truly appreciating the different timbres, notes and expressions of our different instruments and how they blend together in harmony when we practice listening to each other as a whole and at the same time hone our own instrument and how we can play our part so that it supports the overall sound as intended.

Love and Blessings, Caroline

Hopefully, most of us will at this time choose to take a closer look at how we contribute to our community and society at large, in thoughts, ideas, words and physical action. I believe that we are all connected in more ways than we can comprehend. I believe that we are all responsible for the world that we create and that includes the emotional and ideological climate that ignites hate crimes.

I believe that I have a responsibility for how I feel, how I think and how I act out those thoughts and emotions in relationship to other beings. It is my hope that as we as community learn how much we matter to each other and to the whole of society, as we learn that our individual thoughts and ideas and feelings make a difference, we will raise our mass consciousness to a level where massive healing and rejuvenation can take place.

Here’s a song I wrote when a dear friend told me that her mother was shot and killed. Crying and singing it has helped me through some of the overwhelming feelings of grief, loss and despair I have been feeling in the last couple weeks:

It’s Hard to Believe by Caroline Waters

It’s hard to believe
Such a horrid affair
It’s hard to conceive
There is blood everywhere
It’s hard to believe that she couldn’t run away

It’s hard to believe
Such a charming lad
It’s hard to conceive
He would go this mad
It’s hard to believe that she couldn’t run away

In one fell swoop you blew her away
In one fell swoop you made us all pay
In one fell swoop you killed us all
And you weren’t even man enough to take the fall

It’s hard to forgive
Such a horrid affair
It’s hard to forgive
When there’s blood everywhere
It’s hard to forgive that she couldn’t run away

In one fell swoop I’ve come to hate
Every single part of me that can relate
Every single part that reminds me of you
How could you do it, laddy, how could you?

In one fell swoop you blew her away
In one fell swoop you made us all pay
In one fell swoop you killed us all

The art of appreciation, focus and communication

How can we set the tone for a more harmonious co-creation? How can we empower each other to collaborate in the spirit of love? How can we allow ourselves to receive the good that abounds and let the energy of good vibrations reverberate into the world at large?

These are some of the main tools that help me stay focused and inspired:

Appreciation – Express what you appreciate as often as you can, in words and action, and bask in the feeling of that which you appreciate as you go about your day. Write it, sing it, speak it, show it in all kinds of ways you  can think of and watch how your perspective and the world around you transforms as a result.

Focus – Keep you eye on what it is you wish to accomplish, create, receive and avoid fear based distractions. Give your attention, time and energy to that which you love and want to see blossom and thrive. Do this with any scenario that has your attention and see what happens.

Communication – Share your strengths, vision and gifts in ways that gives you joy and feels good in your heart and soul. Ask for help when you need it and receive the love that abounds with open arms, also when it comes in unexpected ways.

These simple tools have helped me in more ways than I can describe. By keeping my eye on the ball, giving and receiving in the spirit of joy and heartfelt communication and practicing the art of appreciation as much as I can, I am able to stay positive and creative in the face of adversity and turmoil. By focusing on the positive aspects, I can see the beauty and creative potential in people and situations that otherwise would have scared me and inhibited my expression.

Here’s my song Did You Know as I performed it with cellist Erlend Habbestad at an amazing venue called Smöga in Sweden last summer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4swoKym5y5Q

Love and Blessings, Caroline

I remember how profoundly it struck me when Sally Field’s character, Sybil, was at the point in her therapy when she felt that the world was coming to an end. And the therapist pointed out that it wasn’t the world that was coming to an end, it was just Sybil’s world as she knew it that was changing in a big way. She was actually beginning to remember parts of her life and thus coming together as a personality system in a better way.

Sometimes allowing things to fall apart is the best thing we can do. Often resistance only serves to prolong the agony and fear of change. When we allow ourselves to go with the flow and surrender to the process of what is happening instead of denying it or fighting it, we create space for a greater part of ourselves to emerge.

And don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that we shouldn’t stand up for ourselves or fight for what we believe in. I only mean that when there is a breakdown of sorts in our lives, it can be useful to surrender to the natural process of that breakdown in order to achieve the full benefit of what is created as things fall back together again.

For example: When we feel like we are coming down with something, it is not an uncommon practice to fight it or suppress it with pills and caffeine instead of listening to the signals our bodies are giving us and taking the time to nurture ourselves and rejuvenate. We are so conditioned in our society to suppress our feelings and keep it together and tough it out that we are forgetting how amazing we really are. Yet, when we actually listen and nurture ourselves accordingly, we emerge as stronger, happier and more productive beings.

This is nothing new. I am only choosing to look at it more closely these days, since I have made a commitment to allow myself to feel more and do less. The commitment came about as I realized I was heading full speed into a dead end street (figuratively, not literally) as a performer by working too much, playing too little and burning that famous candle in both ends. My programmed response, from years and years of deadline driven habits and adrenaline junky behaviors, would have been to will the dead end street into a through street and plow ahead as if nothing had happened.

Instead I stopped, got out of the car and began to smell the flowers. And, as I allowed myself to breathe and to surrender to doing absolutely nothing but smelling those flowers, a new idea formed in my mind: “What would happen if I let myself just be for a while? If I actually took that time off that I said I would take off after I finished my last project? Would my world fall apart? And if it did, would it then be possible for it to come back together in a much better way?

Sometimes all we need is to get out of our own way.

Love and Blessings, Caroline

When I was eighteen years old, I was hit by a car that severed my left leg and sent me flying 28 feet through the air, landing face first in the pavement. Long story short, it took awhile to get my body and brain up and running again. Four years, to be exact.

The first amazing gift of this event was learning that I could be perfectly happy in the moment without all the elements I thought I needed to be happy. I actually received the gift of loving me, just for being. The elements I thought I needed to be happy were things like; being an A-student, winning competitions, looking sharp, slim and fit, performing well and being a people pleaser.

By removing these elements for a period of time, and thus being effectively stripped of superficial distractions, I learned to appreciate the gift of every moment of life that was available to me.

Today, 26 years later, as I am about to leave for my first National Tour of the USA as a solo artist, I feel incredibly blessed by the perspective the gift of starting over has given me. I feel that I am starting over in so many ways, and instead of feeling nervous or pressured, I feel grateful simply for the gift of being alive and for the gift it is to be living my dream as an artist.

The gift of releasing fear and worry

Yesterday, in the midst of composing press releases for the upcoming tour, I found myself in the not so uncommon sea of worry about the future. Will they ignore me? Will enough people show up for my performances? Will I be able to make ends meet at the end of the road? All these thoughts scurried around in my head as I struggled to find the most perfect wording to entice the New York media.

The worrying didn’t help at all. I can tell you that right away. It put me in a space of feeling heavy and incompetent and unfocused. Realizing this, I was able to release the fear and the tension and the worry in a surprisingly short amount of time. And the transformation that occurred was astounding.

The moment I decided to release my fear of not being/ doing enough and embrace the gift of my being, messages began to trickle in from people all over the world, affirming their appreciation and support of my music and performance. This felt wonderful of course. But the most important transformation took place within me.

I woke up this morning feeling truly liberated in my body. And I had this knowing within that who I am and what I do in this world is enough. It doesn’t matter how many people show up for my performances or how many CDs I sell or how many newspaper articles gets written about me. The only thing that matters is that I keep letting my heart move me into action and let that song that makes my heart sing be heard, loud and clear, far or near, wherever it takes me.

I am excited for this Tour, for the people I’ll meet and the places I’ll see. I’m excited to move and be moved, to love and be loved, to listen and explore, and eternally grateful for the chance of starting over every single day.

Here’s the tour schedule and a video: http://www.carolinewaters.com/shows.php

Love and Blessings, Caroline

Two things helped speed up my recovery more than anything else: Writing and Vocal Expression. By writing my thoughts and feelings on paper, I found a way to process the overwhelming amount of fear and trauma that otherwise created panic attacks. And by singing the songs that emerged from the deep of my soul, I was able to transform feelings of rage and despair to empowered joyous expression.

This transformation didn’t happen overnight, by any stretch of the imagination. It happened slowly and gradually, over many years. But I can tell you this. The more I allowed myself to express myself, verbally and vocally, the faster I healed. Today, after eight albums, eight movies, somewhere in the vicinity of fifteen hundred performances and two decades of Vocal Freedom, I am grateful beyond compare.

Why writing helps: Writing gives us a sanctuary, a place to explore and expand and appreciate and clarify and organize and summon and release. We have so many treasures hidden within, simply within our ability to perceive. When we allow ourselves to tune into our inner wisdom, our consciousness expands, we reach a higher level of vibration and more of our dreams and aspirations are available to us.

Why singing helps: Singing inspires every single cell of our being to its fullest potential. It soothes our nervous systems, distracts our otherwise busy minds and aligns us with our dreams and aspirations. When we allow ourselves to sing the song that is in our hearts, we allow ourselves to tune into our inner wisdom on a purely vibrational level, which expands our consciousness even more and connects us to all that is in the most joyous fashion. From this point of connection anything is possible.

Enjoy your expression!

Love Always, Caroline